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“Okay.” He nods his head. “I’ll do my best not to be weirded out by this whole situation.”
“Thank you,” I say with a teasing laugh because even as he says it, he’s weirded out. “We should go say hi to Dru. With that picture of you, and the reaction from the press today, I know you’re going to be in there tomorrow, too. That will be the hardest part, Zeke, and I’m sorry.”
I take his backpack and set it on the edge of the bed. I pause to steady my breath and then grab my cane by the door to help with my ever-weakening balance.
“Is it getting harder to walk?” he asks. The hidden question is around the MS.
“It’s just a gravity thing. I feel pretty good, actually. Most of my symptoms have regressed. But the bigger my stomach gets, the more my centre of gravity is throwing me around.”
He laces his fingers through mine, and between him and the cane, I make it easily down the stairs even though my nerves are sputtering and shouting at me, knowing I’m going to confront my sister about a photograph that only she could have taken.
Downstairs, we move through the kitchen to the dining room, past the conference room, and into the sound room. Zeke’s eyes flicker around wildly, and his mouth is all pinched together. He’s trying and failing epically to stay calm in this environment.
Dru sits in a plush chair with headphones on while the screen lights up with whatever movie she’s watching. It takes a moment for her to notice me standing next to her, and her neck about breaks as she doubles back, her face frozen in shock.
“What the hell!” she yells, then swats the headphones off her ears, her voice coming down a little. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see the birth of my child.” Zeke puts an arm around me, pulling me to his chest. I don’t need to see his face to hear his delight in pissing my sister off. “I thought maybe I should justforget about her,but I guess I can’t do that. I’ll just have to risk theor else.”
Dru’s features all twitch from rage to fear. “You have no idea what you’re fucking with, Nova.”
She slides the headphones back on and does her best to pretend like we aren’t there. Like she doesn’t care, but her knuckles are white with how tight she clasps them in her lap. Her body is stiff, and her breathing is fast, fearful. She knows she’s been caught, and my limbs ache with the effort of not lashing out at her. The grief of knowing my sister could blackmail me tears at me, and my mind funnels through the last year, from the viral video to this moment.
Zeke steadies me as my balance is shot to hell, and I let him as we walk out. I finally get to the last image. The one of Zeke and I having sex, and my gut lurches. It’s fucking sick and twisted. How could she hate me that much to do this?
“Hey, are you okay?” He slides his arm around my waist.
“I don’t want to believe it’s her, Zeke,” I say as my eyes burn. “My sister. She had her own life, her own place. Everything. Why would she do this? Force herself back into my mom’s home, into this world that she had been so eager to escape from? She’s the same damn age as Xan and suddenly acting like a complete child. Something doesn’t feel right.”
“Well, to be fair, Xan has acted thirty since he was thirteen….” Zeke tries, but I just can’t bring myself to feel at all light.
“I need to talk to my parents before this gets out of control. Before…” I trail out, but he knows what I mean. Before that picture of us makes it onto the internet. A rich girl and her sex scandal. How original…
“Alright, Nova. Just breathe, okay? We’ll get through this.”
“But she could send those pictures. She could be doing it right now.” I grab for my phone, about to log into my accounts. Zeke snaps my phone from my hands and crushes me in a hug.
“Who cares what other people think,” he says into my hair, and my arms go around him. He’s solid and strong and here. I never want him to be anywhere else. “I get it, Nova. I do. I understand the double standards but answer me this. Do you like fucking me?”
I startle back, glancing around to see if we’re alone, but he grips my chin forcing, me to look at him.
“Do you like fucking me?” he asks again, and my body tingles at the words, ready with its answer long before my mouth catches up.
“Yes.”
“Do you think sex is for women as much as men?”
I frown and nod.
“Do you think women should be allowed to enjoy their bodies, and make bold choices, and seek pleasure for themselves?”
I cling to his sides, digging my nails into his skin and feel the flush of my cheeks as I agree. I do think those things. But no one else does. It doesn’t matter what I think. The world will tell me what I am.
Zeke is watching me closely, and the second I think it, shame washes through me.
“Why do you care so much what people think, Nova? I get it that you’re under some sort of social contract. But what would happen if you stood against it? What would happen if you were proud of what you chose to do with your life? Because you didn’t do anything wrong. Whoever violated our privacy to do what we want to do in our own fucking house is the villain here. Not you. That image is criminal. I think you know that.”
“I don’t know who I am,” I mumble, the truth washing through me, soothing the shame, but only a little. “I’ve spent my whole life being told what to do, how to act, where to go, and who to be. I don’t know which parts are me and which parts are for show. If I stop caring. If I let go of this curated life, I’m terrified of what I really am.”
He crushes me in a hug, and I let it melt away the last of my fears. After a moment, he chuckles, and I pull back.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m just thinking about how insane this is. Me, you, us, this,” he says, gesturing widely. “I’m thinking about the first time you walked into my life, and my first thought before anything else wasthis a woman I want to know.”
I angle my gaze to the floor, thinking about all the shit I brought into his life.
“I bet you’re regretting it now,” I tease, but he hooks a finger under my chin and levels me with his gaze.
“Nova Forrester, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
