Page 43 of Jerk Neighbor


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“You’re not a business contact,” Trey finished with a shrug.

“Or notonlyone,” Maylin said.

“Which means we’re going to spare you no mercy as we dig out every detail about you,” March said amiably.

This was all very amusing to Paula. “I see. Well, in my universe, we’re more casual with our introductions.”

“Is that so? What universe do you live in, one of the parallel ones?” March met the jab of Lia’s elbow with a “What?”

“Rude,” Lia muttered, then said to Paula, “Sorry you had to meet my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend.Is that all I am to you?”

“March…”

March confided, “Let it go on record that I have proposed to this woman at least once a day since we started dating. It’s her fault entirely that we don’t already have two point four kids.”

“We started going out last month!” Lia said, reddening.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Paula recognized a happy couple when she saw one. She decided she liked both of them, and also as a unit. She also liked Maylin. She wasn’t yet sure what she thought about Trey, who she gauged tended toward the frat-boy end of the man type spectrum.

“I’m dying of curiosity,” she said to him. “Why did you say what you said just now? Never settle. What does that have to do with Christmas?”

Trey’s jaw moved. “You knowIt’s a Wonderful Life?”

“The movie? You mean the black-and-white classic? Yeah, it’s fabulous.”

Bastian groaned. “It is not.”

Trey waved his drink around tipsily. “The whole fucking point of the film is to settle. To give up your dreams and go with whatever duty grind life hands you. It’s depressing as hell.” He gazed down at his wife, taking her hand and turning it, bringing it to his mouth.

Maylin glowed at him with such affection that Paula had to update her opinion: as different as they were, they worked as a couple.

She turned to Bastian. “That’s what you think too? You agree with him?”

“Oh, yeah.” Bastian’s eyes swept the room. “Do what you’re told. Devote yourself to sacrificing your life and to hell with personal ambition. Who wants to watch that?”

“Me,” said all the women together.

Paula laughed. “The movie is about appreciating what you have, not settling for less. Have you actually seen it, both of you?”

They groaned together, “Yes.”

“Don’t even try to suggest they watch it again,” Maylin advised. “Not unless you have handcuffs.”

Lia said firmly, “I love the movie. It has the perfect ending. The underdog wins.”

“And the way everyone pitches in to help him out,” Paula added.

March muttered, “Personally, I want to smack Capra for the stereotypes.”

“I know,” Maylin said while Lia wondered, “Were there?”

“Sure,” Paula told her. “The scene with his family? Before the big party? When the maid—”

She was interrupted by a group of older guests swooping in to commandeer the men.

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