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"Why do you stay?"
"Because I let him in, again. And he knocked me up, again. Then I found out he was still cheating, again. I was four months pregnant and he came home smelling like her and with stains in his pants."
The rum curdles in my stomach. She's talking about it like it doesn't mean anything. The first time she'd been irate, broken so much stuff in her house, and chased him with a knife. Now there is nothing.
"I called Jose and he took me out to breakfast. We've stayed friends and I was too ashamed to call you. I couldn’t drink to drown my sorrows. He took me to his house and I let him fuck me on his couch. I needed someone to make me feel good and wanted."
She stares at the lonely ice in her cup and I get up and grab the bottle from the kitchen. I refresh the rum and squeeze more lime and do the same for mine.
"You probably think I'm a ho."
I take a sip of my drink and savor it. "Why? That's how I met Jax."
My sister's head snaps up. "What?"
"The day I found out about David and went to Baltimore. Remember you were joking about me picking up the bartender? It was actually a thing."
Her mouth drops open, her eyes narrow. "And you didn't tell me?"
"Everything got so complicated when I got back. But this is not about me. I wanted you to know that I can't judge you."
"You can. You left him. The minute you found out, your marriage was over. I stayed, like an idiot. I stayed and it became this fucked up shit. Every time I suspected him, I went back to Jose. I let him console me. I keep letting him do it instead of manning up and kicking Edwin's ass out."
"Why don't you?"
“The kids and the expenses. We are all on his health insurance. Can we send them to private schools and pay separate rents? I would worry all day if my babies went to public school.”
“You know I would help you—”
“Stop. I can’t do that to you. You already buy them the things we can’t afford. I’m so lucky you’re their aunt and Godmother but it’s not your job to help me support them.”
“I’m not married and I make more than enough.”
“Stop. Really. I can’t do this right now. Let’s change the topic.”
“Okay, fine. But you need to start thinking about yourself. How long can you live with this?”
“I know. I’m already thinking on it but not tonight. Take my mind off this. Tell me about your bartender.”
I fill her in on Jax. The day and the night job. She waits with rare patience before she pounces.
“He must have been that good since you’re still in touch, right?”
I want to keep a poker face and not give in but my muscles strain and the smile tickles at the corners of my mouth. “Very good.”
She leans in. “Better than David?”
His name sours my tongue. “David, who?”
It’s the most gracious thing I can say about the man who’s been making my life miserable. He’s contested the divorce, though he has no grounds. He won’t stop calling or texting, and worst of all, he’s gotten my mother in his corner.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that loser’s name up.”
I shake my head. “It’s not like I can forget about it. Every day he tries some new shit. Did I tell you he waited outside my job last week?”
“You got the taser, right?”
I nod.
