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I take two steps back to look into the bathroom. Her eyes are still closed, her ass still in the air. She hasn’t moved from where I left her.
And it hits me hard. This isn’t one of our usual arguments. We won’t be laughing about it tomorrow.Because there will be no tomorrow. If I leave now, I won’t see her again. She’s decided it’s over and I know her well by now. She stands by her decisions.
She’ll go back to New York and won’t ever call me again. I like her calls. There won’t be any more stupid arguments. I like arguing with her. I’m not mad enough to throw away the late calls, the laughter, the dirty talk, or the way she listens to me. I like her too much for that.
Shit, I like her.
My long day weighs me down and I’m tired of everything. I turn away from the door, head to the bedroom area, and drop myself on her bed. My zipper’s still undone and my breath’s still ragged. On my back, I catch my breath and listen to her move about. No doubt she’s still pissed off and will get even more so when she comes out to find me here. I’ll have to deal with it soon enough but for now, I’ll concentrate on getting myself together to talk to her and ignore the thought that’s whispering in the lower part of my brain.
Jesus, that woman can fuck when she’s angry.
* * *
Saona
It was a mistake.
I whisper to myself for the umpteenth time. I should be too tired, too numb to beat myself up but I’m not. The flog my mind is whipping on my heart continues and my body is pointing an accusatory finger too.
I don’t know what the hell you were thinking, Saona. You’re not a ‘one for the road’ kinda girl. Your bravado got you fucked, literally and figuratively.
I push myself up and away from the sink. I keep my eyes low, not daring to look in the mirror. I would picture Jax behind me with that intent look, his lower lip disappearing between his teeth, or hear the way he saidGodright before he came like he found salvation.
I don’t want to see myself either, flushed and well-fucked. Really well fucked. And now it’s really over. It’s not like the last time. He won’t call me and I won’t call him again. I’m so embarrassed. I sigh and grab a towel. I need to shower but my legs won’t let me. I’m too tired right now. I wet the towel and run it over my face and neck. When I swipe it over my lower region, there’s a lovely little tingle that I dismiss. Like I dismiss the shiver set off by the memory of how I got that.
I swipe left on those thoughts, banishing them far. I need to sit down, so I stumble out of the bathroom in a hurry, only to stumble on my feet. Jax is lying on my bed. His eyes are closed and his breathing is even.
Unlike mine.
My pulse is hammering or rattling. He’s so beautiful, I want to climb over him and get him to fuck me some more. That’s what we’re supposed to be. Fun times and casual sex. I ruined all that and am all twisted up now.Yeah, that fuck was a bad idea.
Why is he still here?
I take the opposite side at the other end of the bed and clear my throat. “You’re going to be late.”
“Did you invite the other bartender over? Is that why you want me out so bad?”
“Of course not. I just don’t want you missing out for—”
“Something’s that not that serious?” He opens his eyes now but still doesn’t look at me.
Heat flushes over my face. My words keep coming back to haunt me. “Look…I shouldn’t have said that.”
He turns to face me, his eyes searing over my face. “Why did you?”
I almost look away but I can’t. His gaze is holding mine prisoner. “Because I messed up and I was embarrassed.”
He says and does nothing and I have two choices. I can let it be what it is. He can accept it or leave. Except he could have left but he didn’t. He’s still here.
“I had this stupid idea that I would come in to the bar and you would be happy and we would come here and it would be hot, like last time…” I trail off.
“I would say it was hotter than before this time around, with the two of us being pissed off and all.”
“I’m being serious and you’re being an asshole.”
His hand shoots out and grabs mine before I can stand. “I’m not. I’m being honest. I came so hard I can hardly think and you came so hard you could barely move. And for the record, I am happy to see you. What I don’t appreciate is being tested.”
“Tested?” I try to snatch my hand back but he has a death grip in it.
