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“She got all your sorrys.”
But she never returned the calls.
* * *
Jax
Sierra walks away and I am left to stare after her until Juan fills my vision.
“Is that a new conquest?” He drops into the seat Sierra just left vacant. “I haven’t seen the blonde come by again in a while.”
“That’s not a new conquest and you’re not going to see the blonde again. As it turns out, I fucked that up too.”
“Man, how did you fuck that up? That chick was on you.”
I shrug and let out a little laugh. “It’s a talent I have. My friends have been trying to hook me up with her for a long time. We finally went out and it was a disaster. She acted so much like my ex that I wanted to throw myself off the rooftop of the MGM building in D.C.”
My date with Kelsey had been a nightmare. She was bitchy to the waitress and sent her food back three times. No wonder I didn’t want to go out with her before. The whole time, she complained about the freshness and the balance of sweet and salty, I kept thinking about dinners with Saona. I thought about eating on my bare floor on cushions and with our hands.
“Damn. First, New York’s finest falls through and now this one. What about the woman that just left?”
I sigh. “That was Saona’s sister.”
“Hot Saona’s sister?” I glare at him until he raises both hands. “No offense meant. What did her sister want?”
“She wants to help me get her back.”
“Do you want to?”
Fuck fucking yeah. I want her back. No, I fuckingneedher back. I haven’t had a moment of peace since that fucking evening at her house. But everything stands. What would I offer her? I can’t only think of what’s in it for me.
“It’s complicated.”
“I fucking hate complicated. Listen, Janet’s car broke down and she dropped me off but she's now meeting with some of her girls. If you’re not doing anything after work, we can shoot some pool until she can pick me up. We can chug some beer and you can tell me about complicated.” Juan shrugs.
I take a second and nod. I need to bounce this off someone who’s not my mom. Someone that won’t tell me I’m valuable and a good guy any girl would want because she birthed me and sees potential no one else sees. And I’ve been avoiding Matt because he’s been a dick. Lacey is bitching to him about me cutting off Kelsey and he’s taking it out on me.
Why don’t people know when to get the hint that something just doesn’t work?
That’s how Juan and I end up in the back of a Fells Point bar, shooting pool and ignoring the women trying to get our attention. He, because he’s married and Janet, his wife, would chop off his nuts if she catches a whiff of “bitch” on him. His words. I ignore them because I’m a sad ass. We keep to our beer and our eyes on the game and away from all the tits and ass being shaken for our benefit.
“So, this girl makes a lot of money, her family thinks you’re a mooch on the make, and you felt those were enough reasons to dump her.”
“I didn’t dump Saona. She dumped me.”
“You loaded the gun and pulled the slide back. All she did was press on the trigger. You primed her and she saw the writing on the wall.”
“Why does everyone say that? It’s not like I wanted that. I could have stayed with that girl…” I trail off because there’s no way I’m going to finish that fucking sentence.
“I get it, man. It’s hard being with someone who doesn’t need you. No man wants that. Because even without the money, you’d always think, ‘why is she with me?’ Normally, we get away with thinking it’s our dicks, or the way we eat them ‘til they scream, or that we do this or that around the house. But if she got money, she can pay for all of that.”
Yes, finally someone gets me.
“And the thing is. Janet is not rich like your lady but she knows how to do shit around the house. Her daddy taught her all sorts of things. She was the boy he never had, so on our first date, she changed our flat tire. She also tiled the kitchen floor when we got our first house and paints better than me. It’s like I couldn’t do anything for her but lay it down.”
“What did you do?”
“I became an asshole. I started talking to some chick at my other job that was always looking for a dude to take care of her. I wasn’t fucking her or nothing, but just talking and flirting and shit. Janet found out and she surprised me one day at lunch.”
