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11
Zanika
Well,that was… confusing.
I don’t purportto have the ability to comprehend what goes on in the heads of gods, but I thought that we might have a little connection there. At first, it seemed like he was very happy to talk to me. In fact, he was the one who instigated it in the first place. He told me I had been doing a good job, and he seemed genuinely happy to see me, much to my surprise. I had kind of expected he would have forgotten my name in this time. He would have had hundreds of marveling onlookers out in the city. For him to remember me was pretty flattering.
But then, just as I was getting a little more personal with him, daring to show him a little of my personality, he yells at me to get out. I kind of thought that, being a god and all, he would be more rational than the average man. Maybe he would even be able to express himself in a way that isn’t aggressive. I know I am just a lowly human in comparison to his power and greatness, but surely that should mean that he wouldn’t have to bark orders at me, right?
He knows that I will do what he says. He singled me out and made me feel special. I want to do well as not to disappoint him; he doesn’t need to yell at me to get what he wants. A part of me wants to go back in there and explain to him that I am his humble servant and that it is just not necessary.No, you idiot.What am I thinking? Where do I get the nerve to think that I have the right to talk to a god like that? Just because I feel some kind of connection or bond or whatever you want to call it with him, it doesn’t mean that he feels the same. He can’t possibly feel the same. To him I must just be an ant under his sandals, at most a pet of some sort.
I make my way back to my chamber and crash down in my bed after a long day. I would feel good about my day’s work if it wasn’t for that intensely confusing encounter with Lord Anubis. My head is spinning with conflicting thoughts. I realize that I may actually have a little bit of a crush on him, which is strange. I haven’t had a crush on anyone since I was a little girl. Every man will always disappoint you in the end, so what’s the point of chasing them? He’s not a man, though; he’s a god.Exactly, he’s a fucking god, and you are nothing.Stop with this nonsense and go to sleep.
I can’t help but latch on to the positive signs I have sensed from him. The final order to leave him was confusing, but he might be the one person I don’t mind taking orders from. I actually respect him. I decide that I am not going to let that bother me. I also decide that what I am imagining is incredibly unlikely, if not impossible, so I will not seek him out and humiliate myself. If he wants to talk, he will have to come to me.
I slap myself lightly on the cheek and shake my head in disgust at my own naivety and ridiculous hopefulness. I bury my face in my pillow and close my eyes tightly.
Go to sleep, you moron!
* * *
It’s no use.I’ve had to get a wink or two here and there, but I can’t seem to get any proper sleep. The whole night I’ve just been tossing and turning thinking about the events of the past few days. I’m not sure I’ve really had time to get to grips with just how much has changed in my life in such a short time.
I’ve gone from a potential sex slave to a potential sex slave again to serving the half-jackal god of the underworld. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that I’ve gone completely insane. But I’m not. This is really happening, and for the first time in my life, I actually feel kind of… free.
I toss over in my bed for the last time and decide that nothing is coming of this. I get up and quietly get dressed. I don’t know what hour it is, but when I step outside, I see that the moon is still shining bright in the sky and nothing but darkness lies below it. I look out at the city that is now totally silent. I can imagine, back in the day, the nights were the most hectic and terrifying times in Avaris. Now, with the arrival of the lord of the dead, things have surprisingly become much calmer.
In a way, Lord Anubis lives up to his reputation perfectly. The people here know him as the god of death and mummification. He is the final escort to the afterlife. He is the judge of souls and the final guide. I have always imagined him as having a moral code that is larger than life. Since the moment he came up to Yoria, he has upheld his beliefs firmly and brutally. I don’t know why he decided that this was the right time to finally reveal himself to his worshippers, but I could not be happier that he did. Far be it from me to question the motivation of a god. However, one must wonder why the god of the afterlife would feel it necessary to interfere with the matters of the living. It was my understanding that the final reckoning would come after death, not during life. Maybe this is something that he would permit me to ask him at some point, but based on today’s encounter, I will not be holding my breath.
Feeling completely awake now, I decide to get a head start on my duties. I will probably need it since I will be wanting to get to bed pretty early tomorrow. I start by making my way to the river with a basket of laundry that was left from the day before. I perch myself down by the riverbed and place one of the linens in the river. I lift up my dress and step on top of it. I stamp away on the cloth for about two minutes and lift it out of the river. I squeeze it until dry and place it in the other wooden hamper. I stop for a moment to appreciate the total silence of the palace surroundings. Not even a bird is chirping this late at night. I can only hear the quiet flowing of the river and the warm, tranquil wind against the long leaves of the palm trees around me.
I wash all the sheets in my basket and feel supremely serene afterwards. I can see the beginning of orange rays of light shooting up from under the horizon and realize the sunrise must not be too far away. In an hour or two the others will be waking up as well. I take my basket of wet linens to the courtyard. I lay them out to dry and head back inside the palace.
I walk into the main chamber, and I think for a moment my vision is playing a trick on me. No, my eyes adjusted to the darkness a long time ago; this must be real. In front of me stands Lord Anubis. Dressed in his traditional royal-blue headdress. His black muscles ripple in the sliver moonlight plunging through the doorframe. I almost drop my basket in fright when I see him, and then I spot the massive bulge under his schenti. I look back up into his eyes in shame and see them burning with an intensity I have never seen on man nor beast. He steps forward and puts his large hand on the basket. He flings it aside and steps closer to me. I can feel the warmth of his body radiating on my skin, and I can almost hear the heartbeat of the massive god towering over me.
Before I know it, he has taken me by the shoulders and pushed me outside of the palace. He slams me against the wall and rubs his body up against me. I have no idea what the fuck is happening, but I notice that I have no intention of resisting.
