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“Y-yes.”
“Our society runs on scent. You could be faced with a whole lineup of alpha packs, and how you react to their scent would tell you if they were meant to be yours or not. For example, maybe you smelled an alpha that smelled like…oranges. Now, you like oranges, but they’re not your favorite fruit. But then you smell-”
“Melted chocolate,” I supply, my mouth watering at the way Kit’s scent hits me.
“You smell melted chocolate next,” he says with a smile, “And that just hits all of your senses at once. Out of those two alphas, who would you choose to explore things with?”
“Okay…does the scent thing make me react in other ways?” I gesture for him to hand me the towel, ready to get out. I pull the plug and wring out my hair, and he turns around after a last lingering look at my exposed shoulders, giving me privacy to dry off and dress. Which just makes me even more comfortable with him.
“In what other ways? Like you feel…more sensitive or something? Have sexual urges?”
I blush. I guess they’ve been very up-front with their discussions of sex, which is refreshing, but it still feels a little bit like I’m saying words I’m not supposed to when I try to discuss them back. Like cursing in front of an elder and knowing that I’d be reprimanded for it. Only there’s no one to tell me what I can or can’t say. Another freedom I hadn’t realized I needed.
“Well…after we were separated at the compound-”
“Which fuckingkilledme by the way,” he adds, quieting then to let me continue. I give him a smile he can’t see for admitting that so easily.
“It was like it set off a chain reaction in my body. All the rooms at the compound felt too big and exposed, and I felt like I just needed to be wrapped up and squeezed, to be in a darker, smaller space. I craved that.
“When we got to the cabin there was this sort of canvas tent thing with a mattress inside on the floor, pillows and fabrics everywhere…I had no idea what they were for, but I somehow knew exactly where I needed them all to be.
“But I kept needing to be wrapped tightly in blankets so that I could hardly move, and I felt like I kept needing to nap when I never had before that.”
I slip on my pajamas really quickly and give my hair a quick towel dry before hanging it up on the towel rod to air out. James turns around and collects a hairbrush from a drawer under the sink, towing me back out into the rest of the house.
I wasn’t sure what the other guys would be doing, and they jump back as we exit as if they had been listening in and didn’t want to be caught, which I suppose is kind of…cute. Were they very anxious to learn about me after all? Or were they just taking advantage of the information I had been freely giving James?
I don’t ask about the pillows and blankets spread all over the couch, not wanting to argue or leave any bad tastes in my mouth after such a relaxing bath. James leads me to the bed and sits me down, then climbs behind me to brush my hair for me while Colter hands me a cup of tea.
I stare at it, look around the room, still feeling like I just walked into an alternate dimension or something. Were these the very guys who were literally chaining me to the bed and walking me like an animal just this morning? I don’t understand how they changed this drastically in such a short amount of time, and it makes me wary; like I need to be on my guard for them to revert back and be even angrier at me for making them do these things.
“They’re freaking you out, aren’t they?” James says amusedly.
I nod, my eyes darting side to side to keep them both in my line of sight.
Kit runs an uneasy hand through his hair, his shoulders tense as he sits sort of hunched over on the sofa. Colter goes to join him, casually dropping an arm around his waist and placing a kiss on his shoulder. This seems to ease Kit somewhat, but his eyes meet mine, and I can see that he’s far from okay. I just don’t know how to help him, nor am I sure I want to. He got us into this mess, so he can figure it out.
“Just ignore them if that makes it easier for you to stay relaxed.” I hang my head and a heavy breath escapes me as he continues to comb through my hair, my scalp tingling at the attention. It feelssogood. “To answer your question, those behaviors you described sound like nesting to me. Before an omega will go into heat, they’ll fret and crave dark, cozy spots. I think your body was feeling a withdrawal from my alpha hormones and the only way you could re-create the relief they provide to your biological need was to wrap yourself up in the blankets. Normally, just being around your alphas would ease that before it got to that point, which is probably why you haven’t felt the need to do that since you’ve been with us.”
He begins…braiding my hair? Will the wonders never cease? Colter starts snickering, and even Kit cracks a smile.
“What?” James asks them, clearly confused.
“Her face right now. She looks like she just saw a crazy person run by the window naked. I don’t think she realized you knew anything about hair.”
I feel an elastic go into my hair and then his hands skate over my shoulders and down my sides again, landing on my hips. He gives me a gentle tug backwards, giving me the option to scoot away or snuggle in close, and it feels good to just give in when he pulls the blankets over us and turns to his side, wrapping an arm around my waist. It’s too perfect, and I know I should be wary about it, but after feeling so conflicted lately, I can’t give up this peace I’m feeling.
I let my body do what it wants, surrounding itself with James’ scent. He starts purring and I start wishing I would have brushed my teeth before coming out here, but I am definitely not getting up now. He’s so…comfy. I feel safe, oddly enough. I feel his mouth brush a kiss along the side of my neck and I forget there are others in the room with us.
My eyes close, and I decide I can learn more about this omega business tomorrow, when my body is more rested.
“Sleep, angel,” James whispers into my ear. The room darkens and though they continue to talk quietly together, I only catch bits and pieces as I sink into unconsciousness. Kit admitting James was right, Colter saying something about being really fucking jealous about the way James was holding me, and all of them going on about how soothing it was to finally have me in their home.
I re-live Eln’s death in my dreams, over and over; each time it’s like I know it’s about to happen, but I can never get to her in time, or convince her to not jump off that rock. At one point, I’m even up there with her, pushing her off the rock on purpose.
I’m uneasy, and completely unable to make any of it stop. I vaguely recall thrashing a little bit, trying to get away from her broken, bloody body, until something warm slides in front of me and more purring happens, hands soothing me back into a restful sleep.
When I wake in the morning, it’s to find that I’m completely laying on top of Kit, but he isn’t awake yet. I take the opportunity to study his features, to decide I like his hair all sleep-rumpled like this and that strange facial hair a little bit extra prickly and unkempt. I feel like it’s a secret, private side of Kit that only exists for a brief moment before he readies for the day.
