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Chapter Fifteen
Calai
I can feel eyes on me through the window as I roam through this stranger-that-looks-like-me’s backyard, so I wander farther into it, wondering how far back it goes. He said it was fully fenced so it’s not like I can get lost or anything, but the trees back here made me think it was much smaller than it actually is.
Today was too much on so many levels. Recognizing the town, walking into the library with a strong sense of déjà vu, seeing that picture of the playground I dream about sometimes, meeting my long-lost-twin, finding out one of my mates got sent to the hospital…yeah, I’m pretty much done playing well-adjusted omega.
Apparently I’ve finally accepted I am an omega, too. I didn’t like the way being around Parker’s alphas made me feel; they weren’t threatening or rude or anything, but it just felt wrong. Seeing Kit around Parker made me antsy and uncomfortable. I actually climbed on his lap because I felt like I needed to lay my claim, even though Parker had no eyes for anyone but his own alphas.
There are just too many feelings inside of me right now. I’m not even going to touch on how beyond angry I am that James let himself get injured to the point of needing a hospital. Kit had to restrain me because I was ready to throw down and take on the alpha that touched him. Now that I think about it, that’s probably why I didn’t want to be around them.
I find a fallen tree mid-way through the property that seems dry enough and secluded, so I sink onto it, giving up on all my pretenses. I allow all the different feelings to just flow through me. I acknowledge them and then send them on their way. I try to focus on what’s important right in this moment; I am healthy, and I am safe.
I know who I actually am- a kidnapped child that was thrust into an organization that wiped my prior existence from my mind and raised me believing in nothing but lies. I have a family that’s never stopped looking for me, and I lost years with a mother I’ll never get to see again. I have a father that’s flying in tomorrow to meet me, a brother that’s desperate for me to like him and cling to him, and three overbearing alphas that I am becoming more and more desperate for.
Nothing to worry about then.
I let out a feral scream, startling some unlucky birds, then pick up rocks and twigs and whatever I can find and just start throwing shit. I frenzy, because I know nobody can see me. I’m sure Kit knows I’m losing it, can probably sense the turmoil raging through me, but he promised he wouldn’t interrupt my self-reflection.
I self-reflect the hell out of this clearing.
I kick the trunk of the tree I was sitting on, giving up on that when I realize is provides zero satisfaction and a 100% toe pain. I pull at my hair, also giving up on that soon because I like it attached to my head much better than clinging to my fingers for dear life before it flutters to the forest floor.
Then, I start running.
I know I can’t go anywhere, but it helps level out the adrenaline. It might make more, actually. Maybe I should stop. I should also stop talking to myself out loud because I’m sure there’s some poor forest creature that is going to think I’m absolutely bonkers. I level my eyes on a particularly suspicious looking squirrel and give it the stink eye, doing something I’d have been caned for at the compound.
My fingers fly up and give him a double salute, but instead of feeling freeing, I feel embarrassed.
Because right behind where the squirrel was sitting on his branch, is a man in a dark blue t-shirt and pecs for days, with a beautiful thick beard and a backwards hat.
“Fuck.” I utter the word that’s never passed my lips, flushing when I remember all the times Kit has used that word to imply what he wants to do to me.
“Stop it,” I tell myself, still in denial this man can hear me. “Now is not the time to be getting worked up. Do you remember all that stuff you just found out? What is wrong with you?”
I wince at the reprimand and take two good breaths in and out, calming my nerves. Then I remember the man and I startle, backing up and stupidly run into a tree. Because I’m in a forest and I can’t see behind me. Rookie mistake.
I don’t know who this guy is, but maybe Parker told me about him when he was droning on about things? Honestly I checked out after about five minutes because I just couldn’t process it.
“Sorry if I startled you,” I say, in a much more normal tone. “I’ll just…go.” I turn around, walk into another tree because I’m embarrassed, and decide to just stay there with my face planted against the tree because surely that’s less mortifying than a total stranger witnessing more of your mental breakdown and flipping off cute woodland creatures. Maybe if I sit still enough he’ll forget I’m here?
Nope. No such luck.
I hear footsteps slowly approaching, and a hand on my back prompting me to look up at him. Hello, dark blue eyes. I bite down on my lip so I don’t start word vomiting, unsure of the protocol for conversing with some random guy that- wait. He’s not even an alpha.
He doesn’t feel like Parker does, so I don’t think he’s an omega either. What was the other one that Colter had told me about? Beta? They’re supposed to be sort of neutral. I think. I have no idea; this is all new to me.
I watch his fingers start flying and his mouth moving, his eyes communicating more than the words he’s actually saying.
“Are you okay?”He signs.
Without even thinking about the fact, I’m switching my words into sign language, I sign back.“Fine. No, actually I’m not. I’m overwhelmed and confused and exhausted…and now I’m very embarrassed. Sorry you had to witness all that. I hope you at least got some entertainment out of my meltdown.”
He seems shocked that I know sign language, but then, I guess most wouldn’t have a reason to know it. There was a no name back at the compound that was close to my age, but her inability to speak or hear kept her perpetually nameless. We weren’t supposed to talk to her, but I spent so many nights sneaking out when I was younger to talk to her, because she always seemed so lonely. Plus, I thought it would be cool to know a secret language I could speak with my hands. I was right.
“You…know sign.”
“Um, yes. I should…”I trail off, looking around, not sure how I want to finish that sentence.
