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Chapter Nineteen
August
I get a sick kind of satisfaction imagining Calai’s alphas strung out not knowing where she is. That she’s with me, and that there’s nothing they can do about it.
Sometimes being a beta is great; I get to do a lot of things that are not permitted for alphas and omegas, can slip in almost anywhere without causing a problem. No one notices me.
There are also terrible things though, too. Like being pushed around by alphas who want nothing more than to dominate every situation they find themselves in. Who think they’re better than me because of a random designation they received at birth. I’m not lesser. But they don’t always recognize that.
Calai does, though. She doesn’t look at me and see beta. When she looks at me, I feel like she only seesme. Maybe it’s because of how she spent the last so many years of her life- that she didn’t even know what an omega was until very recently. Or maybe, she’s just a good human being that judges the weight of a person based on how she perceives them and how they treat her, instead of their status.
I manage to feed her after our takeout arrives, and then she just curls up on my couch in borrowed clothes and lets me hold her. She seems pretty shaken up still and in a lot of pain, so we don’t move around too much.
When she passes out I carry her as gently as I can to my bed. I had thoughts about letting her be alone in that bed so she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable if she woke up with me next to her, but the second I pulled away her eyes shot open and she grabbed onto me with desperation. So now I’m living out my wildest fantasy- sleeping with a gorgeous woman that seems to feel a connection to me and doesn’t care about my designation.
Sara wasn’t happy when I broke things off with her earlier, but she also didn’t seem surprised. She was angry, and that was that. I’m free and clear to start anything I want with this woman that speaks to my soul.
I watch as my phone continues to light up from calls and texts, likely from Parker, but I ignore them all.
When I rented this apartment, part of me felt it was silly to pay when I had a free home in Parker’s backyard. But whenever Gavin did something that didn’t sit right with me, I had somewhere to go. Him bullying me isn’t anything new, it’s just not something that Parker has ever noticed.
I don’t know what the hell he sees in that guy, but he’s completely blind to his darker nature. Owen wasn’t bad, we’re just not close.
This community is a safe haven for betas though. The apartments are small, but they absolutely will not let any alphas in for any reason. Which means that my forest sprite is safe here. I want to sleep because I know I’ll need the energy, but I’m so scared to miss any one minute with her. I don’t know how long she’s going to be with me, so I need to soak up every bit that I can.
???
Luckily I have some time off saved up at work so it’s no big deal to call off for the week. By the time that Calai wakes up the next day, I have groceries that have been delivered and I’m able to cook her breakfast, getting a bit green when I see the way her injury looks in the brightness of day.
It’s pretty fucking bad.
I’m honestly surprised that Gavin didn’t crack any of her bones, because the way he hit me would have if he had aimed higher up. I don’t even think about any pain I feel from his assault, because I only have worry for Calai. I don’t know what to do with an omega. I’ve learned only the basics about what they need because I never imagined I’d be with one. I’m totally winging it.
I run her a bath and after she’s dressed she moves around my space gingerly, sadness seeping out of her.
“Do you want to talk about it?”I ask her when she makes the millionth lap through my place.
She hesitates before answering. “Was I stupid to think they respected me?”
Calai won’t meet my eyes, like she knows she won’t like the answer I give her. But I hardly know her guys. When I tilt her chin up to see me, I give her the best answer that I can. “I think the fact that you did trust them, that you have feelings for them, is proof enough of their worth. In my experience, alphas can be extremely hot-headed. Kit obviously went about it all wrong, but I guarantee that he didn’t make a conscious decision to ignore you.
“He must have panicked when he felt the fear that Gavin inspired, and the big scratch on your arm only worsened things. He made a snap decision. You might disagree with me, but he did the right thing by trying to get you somewhere safe.”
She chews this over for a minute as her hands trace over my camera that’s sitting on top of my dresser. It’s probably the nicest thing I own, and I wish I had more time to use it. It’s one of the only vices I have, and my favorite way to make art.
“Okay, I can agree that I’m not upset that he separated us at first, because you’re right that that does show protective instincts. He didn’t know what the threat was, so he gave me to Colter for safe keeping while he tried to figure it out.
“What I just can’t get past though, is that he bought what Gavin said, and that he let him hurt you. That he never told me what you and them discussed about you feeling a mate pull to me, because he had to know that if there was any chance I had feelings for you as well, that seeing you get hit wouldn’t do anything good for me. He should know me better by now than to think I’d just let that happen.”
“Maybe he didn’t think you’d be able to see.”
She’s mad now, her face red as she stomps her foot. “Why does that make it better? If he’s ashamed to do something in front of me, then it’s obviously something that shouldn’t be done! I just hate how avoidable this whole situation could have been. All he had to do was ask me what happened. But instead, he used his stupid alpha brain to do what he felt was best, and he ruined everything.”
More tears seep out of her face, and she instinctively buries her face in my chest, wrapping her arms around me. I’m stunned. I know we’ve spent the last 24 hours together, but she’s already leaning on me for comfort. That’s huge.
I rub her back and let her cry. In my experience, crying it out usually helps more than anything. She’s hurting, and no amount of reasoning is going to take that away. So I stop trying to talk her through anything, and instead let her lead. She knows what she needs, so I’ll just support that.
Calai picks up my camera hesitantly, so I show her how to use it. When she sees a picture of me light up on the screen, she gets ecstatic. I know she’s been using a phone, but there’s something different to using an actual camera for such things. The way you have to manually adjust the focus, the weight of the machine in your hand, the slide of the strap around your neck…it makes taking pictures feel more important.
