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“I’m so happy that you wanted to see me,” I say as we wait for our food to arrive.
“I meant what I said on the phone the other day. I don’t hold any of what happened against you. Can I ask you…am I ever going to feel like you guys actually respect me as a person, or is being an omega just going to be this pathetic situation where I get decisions made for me all the time, and don’t get a say in what happens?”
“We respect the hell out of you, Calai. The only reason that shit happened, is because there were other alphas around and our need to protect you outweighed every other aspect of the situation. We’ve been working on different techniques to keep levelheaded, but we won’t really know how well they work until they’re tested. Which I hope is something we won’t have to do anytime soon. If it seems like we don’t want your opinion, or want to include you in decision making, it’s only because we get so caught up in planning this life with you, that sometimes we forget this dynamic is all new to you.
“We’re really trying to be the alphas that you need, but we are going to make mistakes. Granted, this one was much bigger than should have happened; and I’m not here to champion for my mates, or to ask you to forgive them. That’s between you and them; but I wouldn’t be a good pack member if I didn’t at least mention how much you mean to us. You’re embedded into our souls, and that’s going to affect how we behave sometimes, regrettably.”
“I guess it’s hard for me to comprehend how hard biology hits you guys,” she says. “Maybe I seem like I’m adjusting well, but I’m still a mess. I spent so much of my life not understanding how the world actually works, so much time wasted on a life that meant nothing in the end. Maybe I don’t know how to be part of a team, part of a family. But what I need all of you to understand, is that I need some freedom. Not freedomfromyou guys, but freedomwithinyou guys. I like that you all take care of me, but just because I let you do that, doesn’t mean you get free reign over my actions. I lean on you guys when I want to, but I need to be able to stand on my own two feet when it’s time to.
“You need to trust that I am able to make my own decisions, that I know what’s best for me. And they didn't do that last week.That’swhy I got hurt. That’s whyAugustgot hurt. That’s why they nearly chased me off, because they couldn’t do that.”
I take her hands in mine, leaning in towards her a little bit more. “I know all this sweetheart, trust me. They absolutely made wrong decisions. And I’ve been hurting alongside you for it. Let them apologize in their own way, make them work for it. But I promise you, you won’t find any pack more willing to fight for you. We know what we have, and we won’t lose it.”
We become interrupted then by the waitress dropping off more plates than actually will fit on the table, and Calai’s eyes get huge as she takes in all the options. “I don’t even know where to start,” she says.
I look around the table, picking my favorite. A big stack of fluffy pancakes with rainbow sprinkles, whipped cream, and chocolate sauce all over the top of it in addition to the maple syrup. It’s basically a child’s dream breakfast, but it makes me really fucking happy.
I cut her off a prime bite of it, offering her up the sunshine on a fork. I’m obsessed with watching her eat. I watch her lips as they wrap around the fork, giving me dirty thoughts. I ignore my own stomach, too interested to see which dish she'll like the best. I give her bites of everything, spoiling her.
“I didn’t even know food could taste like this,” she says with a groan. She’s rubbing her stomach like it’s already getting distended, but I know she’s got some room in there for more.
“I’m pretty sure you still need to try this bacon.”
“Ugh. I don’t know if I can fit one single more bite into me.”
She takes a tiny nibble of the proffered bacon, moaning. It’s such a loud sound that the table behind her turns to look at us to see what I’m doing to her over here. I make sure my hands are firmly under the table as I wink at them, letting them think what they want.
“Yeah, you like that baby?” I ask for theatrical effect. The woman is eyeing me like I might be on the menu, while her husband or mate or whoever it is tries to keep her attention on him.
“Like it?” Calai asks. “That might have been the best thing that’s ever entered my mouth.”
I snicker, loving that she’s inadvertently drawing out this drama we’re putting on for the table behind her.
“Well, it’s definitely not the best thing that’s ever been in my mouth,” I tell her.
She looks at me like I'm exasperating. “You’re something else, you know that James?”
“Just trying to keep you on your toes,” I tell her. “So how have you really been doing this week, with August?”
Her cheeks deepen in color has she lifts a hand over her throat, gripping the side of her neck as if she’s nervous. “We...uh…”
She’s killing me. The smell coming off of her right now is enough to set this whole restaurant ablaze. “Oh,” I say, “I know.”
“You… do?” She asks quietly, eyes darting around to ensure no one is listening in.
I tap my nose. “It was one of the first things I noticed when I saw you this morning. Did you enjoy yourself?”
“Are you really doing this?” She asks. “You’re not, I don’t know, jealous? Angry?”
“Upset I didn’t get to be there to watch, maybe. But no. We told you we were OK with you being with him, and we meant it. We knew that what you wanted from him wasn’t platonic.”
She slides over to my side of the bench tentatively. When she lightly rests a hand on the side of my face and pulls me towards her, I’m helpless. She could do whatever she wanted right now, and I'd probably let her. Because she's finally touching me again.
She kisses me then, and I have half a mind to yell at everybody in the restaurant to get the hell out.
She ends it way too soon, but at least it happened. Wrapping her arm with mine, Calai leans her head on my shoulder, breathing deeply. “You know how I feel about him doesn't affect how I feel about you, right?” Those big brown eyes are blinking at me, trying to reassure me.
“I’m not worried about that Calai.”. I lift my hand to her neck and use my thumb to brush over my marks on her neck. Then I soak up the shelter she gives me, leaning forward to press a kiss to my marks. “Howdoyou feel about me?” I can’t help but ask.
