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11
Brett’s fingers were laced through Ellie’s as the path evened out, and they no longer struggled to trudge downhill. They swapped stories of their lives. It pained him to hear how many gaps Ellie had in her memory. He could not even fathom what that must be like. Or how she managed to keep a bright disposition most of the time. It was a miracle that Ellie went through what she did and was still a beautiful person on the other side.
“I’m trying hard not to be a broken person,” she blurted out after Brett told Ellie that he admired her bubbly personality. Her eyes seemed distant as she looked away to the line of minty-green pines in the distance.
“We’re all different, Ellie, but no one is broken. You went through something,” he clarified. It broke his heart to hear her say she felt defective. “Something terrible,” he added, hoping she didn’t think he minimized her experience. He could not imagine what she and the other rescued experiments had endured. It sickened him that they were used as lab rats.
Ellie gave him a weak smile and rolled her eyes. “It was fucked up for sure. But some days I just want to stay in bed… or cry.”
“That’s okay. It means you’re healing. And look at all you have accomplished!”
“What do you mean?” She stopped walking and turned to him. Her brow raised as if she genuinely didn’t know.
“You’ve had to handle not only transforming into a shifter but being okay with the fact that we exist. I’m sure that wasn’t easy, but here you are, a FUC cadet, in a program designed to help other shifters.”
Ellie rolled her eyes again and laughed as if dismissing what he said. “Yeah, but… I just know what it felt like to be lost, and I want to help others that feel that way. To be their beacon of hope. To pull them from the hells they may be living.” He looked into her beautiful blue eyes. She seemed so far away. Probably thinking back to living in a lab.
“I think you’ll be really good at that,” Brett said. “I may have been born a shifter, and I couldn’t even imagine what you and others have gone through…”
He paused, trying to find the right words. “But I know what it feels like to feel lost and what it feels like to have you there to help.” He sighed, thinking about how judged he felt being a computer nerd at the academy. “I have felt like such an outsider as a cadet. I suck at the obstacle course. This outdoors stuff is all new to me.”
“But you’ve done wonderfully!” Ellie exclaimed. “And being a FUC agent isn’t about how well your aim is or how fast you can run. There’s a place for everyone whose heart is in it”—Ellie laid a hand on his chest—“and yours is. You’re a genuine, thoughtful, and caring person, and FUC is lucky to have agents like you.”
Pride blossomed inside of him. He’d never thought that someone as well trained as Ellie would ever see value in him as an agent—or a person. “You really think so?”
Ellie nodded as a bright smile spread across her face. It melted all of Brett’s insecurities.
“Now,” Ellie said, turning to the path before them, “let’s finish this assignment!”
The red, glowing ball of the sun was teetering on the edge of the mountains in the distance as they neared the extraction point. They were hours past when they were supposed to be there, but at least they’d made it. Ellie sighed in relief. With all this time outdoors, Ellie couldn’t wait to go back to her dorm and shower. Although she didn’t want to admit it, she secretly enjoyed the chance to finally dig holes in the ground to go to the bathroom and bury it. It gave her immense satisfaction. It was a thought she never imagined she would have.
A tall figure paced in the distance, stopping when they cleared the edge of the trees and neared the awaiting vehicle to take them back to WANC. Grayson turned toward them, hands on his hips. “It’s about time you made it. We already sent the bus back with the others, and we were about to send out a search party for you two. Where’s your raft?”
“Uhh…” Brett started, as though he didn’t know how to begin telling Grayson that the raft was the least of their concerns.
“We… well…” Ellie, too, wondered how to explain it all.
Brett cut in. “A hawk came out of nowhere and grabbed Ellie from the raft.”
“Not a normal hawk, a big one, likely a shifter.” Ellie nodded, trying to swallow the fear she didn’t allow herself to feel at the moment. “It flew off with me, but I was able to scratch the shit out of it, so it dropped me.”
“What?” Grayson’s mouth dropped. “You wereattacked?”
“Yes, sir,” Ellie quickly replied.
“But saved yourself.”
“Yes. I made sure I would have a soft landing before I did so. I was able to time it so I fell into the branches of a tree.”
“But you found each other?” Grayson looked between Ellie and Brett as he absorbed their tale.
“I pulled the raft over where Ellie and I had planned to rest,” Brett explained. “I figured if I stayed in the planned location, she would meet me there. I waited a while and then finally saw her on the other side of the river. I paddled over to pick her up.”
“Right.” Ellie nodded. “But then we lost the raft in the next set of rapids.”
“All right,” Grayson said, rubbing his forehead with his hand. “Uh, well, sounds like you two appropriately assessed the situation and got out of harm’s way. The parameters of the assignment did not include an enemy attack, but you two proved that you can appropriately change your plan accordingly. Now”—he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone—“I’m going to have to call Director Cooper and inform her of this incident so we can try to find this hawk.”
“Sir, wait. There’s more.” Tears stung Ellie’s eyes as the weight of what happened next pressed against her heart. “I think I killed someone.”
