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“Daphne told you Texas A & M called about Gypsy, right? She’s ready to come home, so I thought I’d go up there tomorrow, pick her up and bring her back here for you. Is that okay?”
A smile crossed Daisy’s wan face, and her eyes gleamed bright. “Sure, Hank. It’ll be real good having Gypsy back home. The doctor said I can go out to the barn end of this week to start back on the chores.”
His chest constricted. “Shoot, Daize, don’t worry about that, you need your rest. I’ll keep up with your chores, you know that.”
“Hey, my barn, my chores! Gone’s lonely for me and Gypsy, I hear him out there, calling for us. Besides, you got a whole ranch to manage now. There’s plenty to keep you busy.”
The corners of her lips had turned up, and he saw determination in her eyes. Good.
“How’s Lucky?” she asked.
“Don’t worry about Lucky. I can barely look at that horse, Daisy. He’s a dangerous horse, and I bought him, put you up and let you ride him, untested.”
“Hank, that’s crazy talk. I like that horse. Wasn’t his fault the truck backfired.”
*******
Daisy watched Hank’s face solidify. “No, it wasn’t Lucky’s fault, Daisy, it was mine.”
“Hank, you can’t mean that! It was an accident. It happened, and it’s over. I’m down now, but I’ll get better—you’ll see.”
Hank dropped to his knees in front of her, and his voice hissed with self-hatred. “There’s a million things I coulda done different to keep you from getting hurt.” He tapped his fingers, counting. “One, I coulda had the truck fixed right off the bat. Two, I coulda told you to wait ‘til the guys were over the hill. Three, I coulda warmed up Lucky myself—hell, Daisy, this was all my fault!”
He ran his hands over his face, trying to scrub some of the guilt away. “It just keeps running through my head, all the mistakes I made. Feels like I’m bad luck for you. I fed Gypsy that night, right before she colicked, and I bought that damn Lucky for you. . . “ His voice broke. Horrified, he said, “I keep tryin’ to make things better for you, and I keep messing up!”
“Hank, no.” She shook her head, motioning him closer. When he was in front of her, she put her hands to his cheeks, squaring her green eyes to his. “Heck, you try so hard. . .You’ve done all that you can to make things better for me, I see that. This is just. . .Stuff happens. It was bad timing. It’s all been really bad timing. Please, don’t blame yourself, Hank,” she pleaded.
“This isn’t the way I wanted it, Daize. Things between us aren’t the way I want them, either. Hell, it twists my gut, thinkin’ about what Buck went through, especially now that I know how dirty my Pop played. And I didn’t come visit Buck when I heard he was sick. I blame myself for that.”
“You didn’t visit Buck because of me, Hank. I was mean to you, took stuff out on you that wasn’t your fault—wasn’t anything you could do about it. Buck liked you, Hank, Daphne knows it, too.”
Voice desperate, Hank whispered, “I just wish I could make it all up to you and to him, but there’s no way now, other than the settlement. You’ll take the settlement, won’t you, Daisy? You and Daphne talked it out?”
She stiffened, thin and pale. “I don’t know if I can. Buck’s gone, and it’s so much money your lawyer is offering us, feels like blood money, Hank. Things are happening so fast for me, with everything between us. . .” Daisy shook her head. “Shoot, I need some time, and there’s still the mess with your daddy. I know why I hated him, but why’s he so mad at me?” Her eyes turned painful. “I just can’t see us as family, you and me and Daphne and them, mixing it up at holidays and so on, y’know?”
“I do.”
So she saw it, too. Everything between them was gone, over, because of how stupid he’d been, how greedy and underhanded his father had been.
He had it coming, after what had happened to her. This was the punishment he deserved: to be without Daisy. He would never forgive himself for Red’s behavior or for his own carelessness. The settlement would leave her well off, though. No reason she and Daphne would want for anything for a long while, that was for sure.
This wasn’t the time to go over the offer he and his mother had worked out with the lawyers, though. The swelling in Daisy’s head was down, but she hadn’t fully recovered from the concussion. She’d get better, go off to school in the fall, and find someone better than him…someone that deserved her.
He couldn’t expect her to think straight about anything, but sooner or later, she’d be angry at him. She had a right to be.
“My Ma wants to come over and see you. Says she’s been worried sick for years about you and Buck and Daphne.”
“Your Momma’s a sweet woman.”
“I always thought so. Now I’m not so sure. I wish she’d dug into the mess between our daddies years ago. It took too long to make things right. I don’t feel proud of who my parents are, anymore.”
“Oh, Hank,” Daisy’s voice was gentle. “It’s done now, and you’ve taken care of what you can. Don’t put so much on yourself.”
When she squeezed his hand, he felt better for the first time in weeks. There was no way he could make it up to Daisy, but at least she seemed to understand how things needed to be between them, from now on.
The past was done, he’d made his mistakes, and he’d live with them.
*******
