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Grace
I successfully had both boys down for a nap in their room and was lounging on the couch with a sleeping Brielle on my chest when I saw Sydney’s Explorer pull into the drive. Immediately my heart began racing. It was amazing that Bri didn’t wake up to the sudden rhythm change under her cheek.
I took a deep breath.
Sawyer’s here.
I hadn’t spoken with him in a few months, after the whole Jeremy fiasco, not even when Bri was born. Oh, he passed me the baby, but the words that were exchanged were minimal.
I don’t know what possessed me to have Sawyer meet Jeremy, but it sorely backfired. I pretty much lost a friend, and Jeremy was put off by the fact that one of my closest friends was a guy. For weeks after the two met, Jeremy kept bringing him up or making sure that Sawyer wasn’t going to be at the Prescott house when I was visiting. Trying to reassure him that Sawyer was just a friend became annoying after a while, but eventually Jeremy let it all drop.
At the moment though, I wasn’t sure if I should put the baby down and meet Sydney and her brother, or just sit here and act like I didn’t notice they were back.
The choice was taken from me when the door opened and the two walked into the mudroom. I could hear them talking and heard as Sawyer’s suitcase hit the tile, just as I heard when the suitcase began to roll toward the living room.
I took another deep breath.
I hadn’t seen Sawyer in so long that this odd fluttering in my stomach had me slightly off-kilter. Six weeks to go without any contact, three months without speaking or even texting, was a stretch for us, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.
When I first met him five years prior, I’d been drawn to Sawyer’s easy smile. He had such an open personality. He was easy to get along with, something that I didn’t often find with people. I was the type who was always worried about whether someone would think twice about a comment I made, or that they would be saying one thing to me when really they meant another, but I never felt that way with Sawyer.
Being around him was just…
Easy.
I stepped into Sydney and Caleb’s backyard, hoping to find one of them in the masses.
The place was decked out for their engagement party, with white table tents and white linens. Coral and blush pink balloons decorated the yard. There was a speaker system set up on the back deck of their beautiful home and people littered the yard.
There were so many people.
I was excited to be a part of this day, but the nerves fluttering through my stomach were overpowering the excitement.
When I first met Caleb Prescott, it was on a cruise ship with many other women, “vying for his attention,” or so the plot stated. In reality, I had applied to be on the dating show on a complete whim, never imagining I’d be cast as one of the hopefuls.
All of the girls were supermodel gorgeous—and then there was me, little Midwest blonde girl, Gracelyn Ann Dewey. I wasn’t entirely sure how I made the cut, but I was proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and accepting the cast-spot.
Immediately, I could tell Caleb was a good guy, a guy any one of us girls would be lucky to date, but he was always slightly distant. Not completely there.
And it was quickly revealed why.
Sydney was this great girl with a great personality. When the two of them were together, you couldn’t help but notice they were ‘it’ for each other.
When Sydney and I forged a friendship on the ship, I never would have thought it would continue on into ‘real life,’ but it did. And being able to be a part of this day, watching as Sydney and Caleb celebrated their engagement, was a true gift.
But as excited as I was to be here with the two of them, it was the fact there were forty-plus other people in the yard that had my heart beating rapidly in my chest.
I didn’t know anyone other than the celebrated pair.
Sure, I recognized some of the men as teammates of Caleb’s, as well as his family, who I met on the show, but I didn’t have anyone in this yard to be “my person”. Someone I could stand by and essentially cling to, as juvenile as it sounded.
Someone who could ground me.
Being here was a bad idea.
I carried my mediocre card to the gift table and decided I would find Sydney and Caleb, congratulate them, and be on my way. The further I stepped into the crowd and the music, the harder my heart beat. I could feel it swelling and could swear it skipped a few beats.
I could feel my eyes start to burn as tears threatened. Good God, this shy panicky stuff would never feel any better.
