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Sure, yesterday we had started to ease back into the comfortableness we had once before, but Sydney was there and now she wasn’t going to be. I didn’t know if I was ready to do the one on one thing with Sawyer yet, not with my conflicting anxiety and libido.
My libido needed to cool itself. It didn’t matter how sexy I thought that man was—the bottom line was, and would always be, there was a physical distance between us and we were better off not going down that road.
Again.
“I’m sorry?” Sydney said, a wince of her own on her face.
I shook my head clear of the jumble. “It’s… It’s ok.”
Sydney stood and shouldered the simple black diaper bag, her eyes searching mine. The similarities between her and her brother were uncanny. Their looks, their ability to see straight through me…
The only difference was Sydney didn’t often call me out on whatever she saw in my face.
Sawyer always did.
“It’ll be good for you, yeah?” she added.
My lips curled crookedly on their own accord. “Sure.”
After giving me a tight hug, she turned back to the living room, calling out, “Boys!” She walked past them to where Brielle was hanging out in a swing and took her out, moving her to her car seat. I stayed standing in the entryway between the mudroom and living room, slightly at ease but still not completely there. I contemplated going home, but that wouldn’t be fair to Sawyer.
The man did look like he needed more sleep though, so I could save him the trouble and just head out after Sydney so he could be alone and maybe rest. That was part of the reason for him coming out here anyway, right? To rest? To get away?
When his back was free of Brody, Sawyer pushed to a stand, frowning. “Where you going?”
I didn’t miss the fact that Sydney avoided Sawyer’s eyes, keeping her head down as she completed her tasks and rounded up her kids, helping with shoes and sweatshirts in a hurried fashion.
“Playdate I forgot about,” she answered.
My gaze flipped to Sawyer, watching for his reaction. Would he be upset, relieved, annoyed? What would he be with this news?
Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a read on him. He crossed his arms over the gray hoodie and yawned, shrugging. “Ok.”
Ok?
Ok?
So he was ok with this. Well, obviously he was ‘ok’ with this, he just said as much.
My eyes were still on him so I caught as he looked to me and raised his brows pointedly. He didn’t say a word but I could sense what he wanted me to hear.
Stop thinking so much.
“We’ll be back around lunch,” Sydney repeated to her brother what she had told me a little bit ago. “You two have fun!”
And in a flurry of activity, they were gone.
Leaving just me and Sawyer.
