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Sawyer
I’d been back in my boring apartment for two days and hadn’t gotten anywhere. Grace didn’t answer my calls, respond to my texts, nor did she return my emails. It was like a week ago hadn’t ever happened, that we were still at the impasse from before my trip to San Diego.
More than that though, I wasn’t any further in my department search. I had my list of precincts and departments in the immediate area of Grace, but so far no one had an opening.
I was going to have to do the traffic cop thing again, but fuck if I cared. I had one more call out to a department that was about an hour north of Grace, but if they had an opening, I would jump on it. An hour was far more doable than what we were currently doing.
Or not doing, if not hearing from Grace was any indication.
Still, job or no job, I was getting ready for the move and had boxes set to be filled.
Jake had stopped by earlier and we shared a beer. He pretended not to notice the packing boxes lined up against the wall, waiting to be put together and filled. On his way out to leave, he tapped one of the still flat boxes and shook his head.
We hadn’t talked about Grace, not about my weekend in San Diego. Sure, he gave me shit for getting shot and being put on medical, but really, we just bullshitted about football and some of the guys in the department.
I was going to have to talk to him. The guy was my partner and deserved to hear it from me. But I’d hold off until I knew what was happening.
There was a knock at my door and, expecting a pizza, I grabbed the twenty I laid out on the coffee table and made my way to the front. I wasn’t all that hungry but I had to eat something.
Ready for the taste of peppers and sausage in my mouth, I swung open the door with the twenty ready—and nearly swallowed my tongue.
Not the pizza guy.
Nope.
Standing outside my door in the hallway that was my complex, stood Grace all wrapped up in a heavy sweater, leggings, and a pair of Ugg boots.
“Grace.” I blinked.
Her smile was timid. “Can I come in?”
I shook my head from my funk. “Yeah. Yeah, come in.” I stepped to the side and she walked through the door, the familiar smell of her coconut and hemp lotion wafting up at me. Fuck, I missed her. How the hell had I gone months without talking to her before?
I watched as Grace looked around my place from where she stood. She had never been here and I found myself slightly embarrassed at its bareness. There was no life in my place, where hers simply screamed with it.
Finally she turned toward me, her face sad and her blue eyes filling with tears. That couldn’t be good. Any hope I had upon seeing her started to drop.
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t handle seeing you in the hospital and I didn’t handle the entire situation very well,” she admitted.
“It’s ok.” I didn’t think I would handle her in a hospital very well myself. Some things just had to be forgiven and I was more than willing for that to be one of them.
She shook her head. “No, it’s not ok. I should have been in that room with you.” Her eyes were still wet but she refused to let the tears fall.
“It maybe took you a couple of days but hey, you’re here now,” I said, always reaching for the lighter moment if it meant cheering Grace up. Grace didn’t deserve sad days. I only wanted her happy. I stepped closer to her, thankful she didn’t step back, and took her hands in mine. Looking in her eyes, I told her, “You’re here now and already my day has gotten so much brighter. Grace…” I thought about what I wanted to say. “You told me that I calm you and I told you that you grounded me.” I squeezed her hands. “You always have, Grace. Let me be your calm always.
“I’m tired of coming home and being tired.” I was going to push through this. I was going to lay it all out on the table. She came all the way out here without my knowing; she wasn’t leaving her until she knew I loved her and that I would do anything to ensure we could find a future together. I was done trying to be just her friend. She was my best friend, and I wanted her for life. “I want to see your face when I walk in the door. I want you to be the reason my day gets bright again because you do that for me,” I told her. “If that means moving to San Diego, hell, I’m set. I’m ready.”
Her blue gaze traveled behind me to the start of my packing before she looked back at me.
“I know that what you do is important,” she told me, thankfully not pulling away. She took a careful breath and when her eyes started to water again, I worried about what she was going to tell me.
But shit.
She flew out to Salt Lake City. Surely if what she had to say was negative, she could have done it in e-mail or text, right?
“What you do scares me, Sawyer,” she whispered before taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “But not being with you scares me more.”
Words to balm a man’s heart. I tried pulling her in but she stood firm, having more to say.
