Page 38 of Lost Without You


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Shoot, what if this lasted longer than two months? Three months?

“Savannah.”

It wasn’t Conor who said my name, but Ryan, who was now by my side, rubbing his hand slowly up and down my back. “Breathe,” he whispered.

With my eyes fixed on his, I took a long, deep breath in, letting it out slowly through pursed lips.

I didn’t even realize that my breathing had become fast and shallow.

“Sorry, Aiden just beamed Ava with a pool cue,” Conor said now, and I didn’t really know why he was apologizing, but what stuck out...

“Why are Mia and the kids there today?” Mia was his wife, and Aiden, at fifteen, was more than capable of hanging out at the house with his fourteen and eleven year old sisters.

“Mia didn’t want to cook dinner, and the kids wanted cheeseburger shalaylees”—they were a hit at O’Gallagher’s. They were basically crumbled up cheeseburgers in a wonton wrapper, with a booze-infused ketchup—"She was here when the news hit and is helping make phone calls. Shayne came in for her shift, but she looks about three seconds from birthing that kid, so I sent her home. And she was supposed to close with Jake, but his kid is sick or colicky, he doesn’t know. God, I don’t miss those days.”

In the distance, I could hear Mia laughing. “You do too!”

I didn’t know the O’Gallagher family back in “those days,” but I knew how Conor was now with his kids, and nieces and nephews, and friends’ kids.

I was going to have to believe Mia on this one.

“Well, if you guys need any help for anything once I get back to town, please let me know.”

“Eh. There’s rumor of stay at home orders coming later this week, so just keep yourself safe and healthy. And if you hear from that friend of yours, tell him he’s fucking up.” And in true Conor O’Gallagher fashion, he didn’t bother saying ‘goodbye’ before hanging up the phone.

“Conor says”—my phone vibrated with an alert, and I opened the notification—“you’re fucking up.” I didn’t need my boss to say it was Ryan he was talking about.

Ryan was my only guy friend.

It was easy to deduce.

Especially with the end of the episode that Ryan shared with me. It came to mind and I had little doubt that it had been what Conor was talking about.

“Yeah, I think I’ve fixed that now,” he answered, moving to stand behind me and pull me into his chest. I could feel his semi-hard state at my rear, but didn’t pull away.

If anything, I relaxed into him more.

Once my notification loaded, I held my phone up so Ryan could see better. “There you have it. Cancelled. All flights cancelled through...shit, Tuesday.” Sighing, I tipped my head back to his chest as I worked on rescheduling my flight. His arms stayed around me as he silently watched me.

After I submitted the change, he loosened one arm from around my shoulders and upper chest, and reached for my phone. “Can I use this to schedule a flight? I’ll hop on yours. May as well get it scheduled.”

Letting him, I reached up to hook both hands on his strong forearm as he one-handedly selected and secured a flight for Tuesday afternoon.

“I should probably attempt to wash clothes in the tub. Maybe if I start early enough, they’ll dry well by tomorrow.” Really, I didn’t want to move from this position right here, but I also knew that I had to be productive.

Had to do something.

“You showering tonight, or in the morning?” Ryan asked, leaning into my back—effectively pushing me forward in the process—so he could drop my phone to the counter.

“After all that shoveling? Shoot, I should have showered when we got in. I probably reek.”

Then Ryan dropped his nose to the top of my head and, oh my god, sniffed.

“Ryan!” I let go of his arm and attempted to drop from his embrace, all while laughing.

He laughed too, although his ended on a groan as my back rubbed over his precarious position. Part of me wanted to be bold and invite him into the shower with me. Maybe do something about that hard-on.

But part of me was still a little bit terrified that things would change.

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