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An albatross
(Blakely)
The next morning I waited in line for the toilet, took a cold shower, brushed my teeth, and did as much cleaning, straightening, packing as I could. Then Frank and George asked me to meet them outside. A moment later I was in Child’s Pose on a patch of grass beside George while Frank stretched our feet and rubbed our backs.
George groaned happily.
I said, my face pressed into the grass, “Oh yeah, this was necessary.”
“Better rested?”
“A little.”
“So this is what I’m thinking...” He got me to go up in Downward Dog and adjusted my hips. Then he said, “Back to Child’s Pose.”
I got comfortable.
He asked, “When did you decide to go on this hike?”
“This hike? Since I was a teen. Any long hike? Since I was like ten. I loved hiking with my dad and wanted to go for a really long one.” The grass felt cool against my cheek and smelled like fresh dirt in a lovely way.
“So you’ve been wanting to do this hike for at least ten years?”
“Yeah, or more, that’s why I’m doing it, because I can’t quit. It’s been my dream.”
“And you were going to go with your husband, right? He was part of the dream?”
“Yeah.”
“Did he change the dream at all?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, did he add to it? Some details?”
I thought for a moment.
He said, “Wait, don’t answer yet, do Downward Dog, again.”
I followed him through a Sun Salutation.
Then, back in Child’s Pose, I said, “Yeah, he added days, and distance. We could because he was going to help carry our gear and supplies and... oh.”
“Yeah, oh. So here’s the thing, me and George, we think you’re crazy-brave. I know we’re strangers, and our opinion doesn’t matter, but we’re from LA and so we’re kinda like your people. We think you’re brave. You’re a California girl out here walking a trail by yourself. There’s only one other solo camper on this site right now, and he’s some cranky old dude over there in the back corner. Don’t talk to him, he’s scary.”
I glanced at George who was in warrior pose. He said, “Sorry, he’s all up in your business now, I tried to tell him to stop.”
Frank said, “You know I can’t stop, it’s in my nature, I have to fix things.”
George rolled his eyes. “You’re helpful to a fault,” and smiled to soften the complaint.
Frank said, “So this is my point, Blakely. You’re trying to get back at your husband for cheating by doing your married hike. But maybe what you need to do is stop revenge-hiking and instead honor the hike you meant to go on when you were a little girl.” He gestured for me to lie on my back with my leg crossed over to the side.
“Feel that stretch?”
I moaned. “Yeah.”
“So what would your little girl hike have looked like?”
Emergency contact
(Blakely)
My outlook improved. Instead of heading to the end of a month, I was headed toward a waterfall. Instead of a huge pile of miles to go, I only had to go for fifteen to see a beautiful sight.
I hiked twelve miles that day, twelve excruciating miles and could go no further so I found a small shady spot under a tree and made camp. That felt better too. I put up camp without trouble, if someone had been watching they might have even been impressed by my style.
I sat on a log and stared up and down the trail, out at the view, and then ate dinner and fell asleep. That night there was a strong wind which howled and shook my tent and made the whole terrain feel too big, lifeless, and I felt solitary, alone. It was a plight to be by myself and hunkered down. It felt as if the wind would pick up my tent and hurl it end over end down the mountain. So with my eyes open, I stared at the inside of the tent walls as I was pummeled with gusts and gales. It was terrifying and very hard to sleep.
* * *
In the morning I heated some coffee and stared into space for a bit. A group of deer walked by casually, as if they didn’t notice me at all. Birds flitted through the air, busy at the work of the day. I was numb to all the pain of the dissolution of my marriage and resolute — today I was going to see the waterfall.
I hefted my bag up and hit the trail.
* * *
Spring River Falls was gorgeous. I put down my pack and explored the pools around the base. I took off my shoes and socks and submerged my feet in the clear brisk water, and explored around the edges of the pool skipping rocks to the deepest part. I spent most of the day there, and then hiked farther and camped again.
* * *
The following day I hiked, the terrain going up and down. I meant to make it to the town but there had been a view and a tiny bit of a sidetrack to see it from a better angle. Then I hiked and hiked, thinking I would get there before dark, but it was an overgrown forest, very dark, really cold, and spooky as hell.
I put up my tent in the dark, spooking at shadows, jumping at sounds. I got the tent erected, tossed my backpack inside, and was staking it down when something big rushed up behind me.
I dove into the tent, zipping it up frantically — “Shit!” My heart raced. Shit shit shit. Something pushed on the tent outside. A growly kind of noise. I grasped for the bear whistle hanging around my neck. Another snuffling and the tent bowed toward me, it was like a bear was sitting on the tent. I put the whistle in my lips and went totally still. Begging the universe, please, please, please let me live.
The bear got up and growled and shuffled away.
I scrambled into my sleeping bag and pulled it up around my ears, my beanie pulled down, with just my eyes poking out, staring in all directions as a sound to the north scared me. Then a noise to the south and then east and west — I burst into tears. Which was a surprise since I had believed myself to be totally fucking cried out.
I never looked at my phone, it was for emergencies. But since I was leaving tomorrow, and this felt like an emergency, I pulled it from my bag and turned it on. 64% juice.
I pushed the text button, not sure who I would text, or if I even had cell service.
There was one unread text, it said:
Hi Blakely, it’s me.
I was wrong about you.
You made it a whole week.
He had added his number to this phone at some point when I had seen him last. I clicked on his name, Liam Campbell, and underneath he had written: Emergency contact.
I sighed.
Then I called him.
His voice, “Woodshee!”
“That’s me.”
“Och, well done!”
I chuckled. “You would say that, because you can’t see that I’m totally freaking out right now.”
“How come ye’re freaking out?”
“Because a bear was snuffling around and it’s dark.”
“For fuck’s sake, bears? As in the four-legged fellas with the teeth? How come ye are in the woods with bears, Woodshee — in the dark? Tis nae a thing for civilized lasses tae do.”
I laughed, feeling better already. “True.”
“He’s nae there now?”
“No, now it’s just eerily silent.”
“Och, he might be sneaking up on ye, bears’ll be doing that.”
“Do you have a lot of experience with bears?”
“Nae, I daena ken anythin’ about them. He’s probably long gone — he must hae found a honey pot, or his train was due. He daena want tae eat ye, how would he fill up on ye? Ye are too boney for a proper meal. Daena tell him where I live.”
“I won’t... did you just reference Winnie the Pooh and Paddington?”
“Aye, in m’experience they are the most important of the bears.”
There was a pause.
I said, “Thank you for putting your name in my phone as my emergency contact, I don’t know why, but it was really comforting to see it.”
“You’re welcome, Woodshee. Tell me what ye hae seen so far on yer journey.”
My voice was low, the tent close, it was dark all around, my voice going into the phone, his voice, emitting from it, low near my ear.
I began on day one and told him about everything and he listened and it was lovely to have someone to tell and then... “On day three, when the rain stopped, I came over a rise and there was a valley laid out before me. It was gorgeous, as if I could see for hundreds of miles, and—”
The sound of an owl, hooo hooo, echoed through the night. “Did you hear that? Wait... listen.” I held the phone up and the owl hooted again, hooo hoooo.
“What is it?”
“An owl. In the tree above me.”
“Och, ye tell him ye hae had enough of the nighttime animals.”
I chuckled. “The owl might be protecting me from the nighttime animals, I’m going to let him be.”
“Aye, tis a smart move, maybe tell him if he sees a pooh bear tae tell him tis past his bedtime.”
I chuckled.
“What else did ye see?”
“I saw Spring River Falls, it was so tall it was breathtaking. I have always wanted to see it. I took my shoes off and splashed around in the water, and you know what? It was as amazing as I thought it would be. I only wish someone was here to show it to.”
“Hae ye been alone the whole time?”
“I met a couple of people, but they had to hike through, they had a schedule.”
He was quiet for a moment.
I said, “So I decided not to do it anymore.”
“What ye sayin’, Woodshee? Are ye quittin’?”
“No, I’m not quitting, I’m finishing. I did what I came here to do, you know? I hiked, I did it all by myself, I pushed past my comfort zone and I saw the waterfall. I had every single kind of weather. I had like two hundred life-threatening experiences. I shit in the woods. Two dudes from LA called me ‘brave.’”
“Och, it sounds as if ye are finished, twas a long hike, and ye should be proud of it.”
“Yeah, I am. Tomorrow afternoon I will be in Mansfield and I was thinking—”
“I will come get ye.”
I chuckled. “I was actually thinking about getting a hotel and—”
“What ye doin’ that for? Ye hae the cabin ye already paid for, and the honorary room in the best most empty motel in Trailhead, how are ye goin’ tae rent a third motel? I daena think this is how motels are supposed tae work.”
“You really don’t have anything better to do?”
“Than drive tae Mansfield tae pick ye up? Nae, I need tae go tae the big shop, anyway. What time will ye be arrivin’?”
“I’ll get there about one I think, I’ll call you when I arrive. Thank you.”
“Ye daena need tae thank me, I’m yer emergency contact.” He joked, “I just thought ye would need the ride six days ago and m’drive would be a shorter distance.”
“I better go, I should save my battery.”
“Aye. G’night Blakely.”
I hung up and sighed, thinking about how comfortable his good nights sounded, how pleasant his teasing, yet I had only just met him. And then I fell asleep.
