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Impeccable judgment
(Blakely)
I narrowed my eyes. “I knew it, I knew you were going to get all up in my—”
There was a knock on her backdoor. She said, “It’s Hot-Hot Dylan, hold on.”
She opened the door and Hot-Hot Dylan, her neighbor from the back house, stood on her stoop.
“Whatcha need?”
He grinned and swiped his hair from his eyes. “Super high, wondering if you got any food, Jess?” He entered and noticed me. “Hey Blakely! Haven’t seen you since you moved out, how’s the divorce going? Wait, you’re painting? Cool, love to...” He sat down in a chair, picked up a paintbrush, and dipped it in paint.
Jess brought him a box of crackers and a hunk of cheese. “Dylan, I was getting ready to have a long conversation with Jess.”
He said, “Go right ahead, I can barely hear you over the laughing pandas. Do you see the laughing pandas, or is it just me? I’m just gonna sit here and be high for a bit. No worries.” He stuffed a cracker in his mouth and somehow got a smear of blue paint on his forehead. He giggled.
Jess said, “Blakely, I’m worried about you and this guy from...”
“You know his name is Liam. Liam Campbell. Ex-Rugby player. My favorite guy in the world — you know this. I talk about him all the time.”
She said, “I’m worried about you. You are going through a divorce and you should not have a new favorite guy. You need to focus. This is a rebound and it’s not healthy to...”
Our attention moved to Hot-Hot Dylan, humming.
“I am so sorry, did you hear that?”
Jess said, “Yes, we can all hear you, even the pandas, now hush up and paint.” She turned back to me. “...you know. It’s not healthy to start something with this guy.”
“What do you know? Like seriously — What. Do. You. Know? You don’t know anything. Do you believe in soulmates?”
She said, “Not really.”
“What about you Dylan?”
“Soulmates? Nah dog, no way.” His tongue was hanging out of his mouth while he stared bleary-eyed at the door pull trying to add a purple dot. “Not at all. That, my friend, is a bullshit fairytale.”
I said, “What do you know? You just hook up.”
“Girls who want a fairytale-soulmate are trouble, I know that much.”
“Are you calling me trouble?”
“Nah, you’re Blakely, your ex is trouble, you’re pretty dope.” He appraised his door pull. “I fucked it up.”
I compared it to mine. Ours both looked like preschoolers painted them.
He started giggling. “We are not good at this. Maybe you should be high, then you would see how funny it is.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out a gummy. “Here, wait.” He pulled it close to his eyes and began pulling pocket-lint from it.
I laughed, “I don’t need a gummy, I need to have my wits about me for this argument, apparently. Jess, if you did believe in soulmates, I would ask, what if he’s my soulmate? What if he is the one? Are you saying that my timing is off? My divorce wasn’t finalized when I met him so I need to forget him? How long am I supposed to ‘not date’ to get over Darren? But also, if you don’t believe in soul mates, that’s fine too. He’s not, he’s simply lovely. So what, I don’t get ‘Simply Lovely Liam’ because it’s not a good time for me? You think I need to be depressed over Darren longer? While he, I remind you, is dating all over the place?”
Jess sighed. “It’s not an argument. I’m just telling you that... that you’re not being nice to him—”
I scoffed and put down the drawer pull and the paintbrush. “What do you mean, not being nice, what are you talking about?”
“Is he going to move to LA?”
“No, he hates the idea of—”
