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“This has been such a lovely evening and I’m so pleased that the renovations went so well. You’ve really done a fantastic job and I need to know the name of whatever designer you used to decorate the place. The work is exquisite!” she exclaimed.
It would have made Cami so happy to hear that someone other than me appreciated what she’d done for me.
“I’ll get you the name,” I answered.
“Good.”
“Are you getting tired, my dear? Do you want to head on home soon?” the mayor asked, and she nodded, kissing his cheek.
“In just a little while,” she answered. “Come. The Bickertons are asking for you.”
“Talk soon, Mason,” he called out as his wife led him off. He was right. She did look at him with starry eyes, like he was still just as handsome as when they’d first met.
Would Cami still look at me that way in thirty or forty years? I hoped she would.
Another couple approached me, quickly distracting me from my thoughts as I got to know the upper crust of New York society. Many of them complimented me on the renovations to the home and several of them commented on how nicely the interior design was done to bring out both the old and the new so seamlessly.
Everyone was friendly and polite. Shortly thereafter, dinner was served, and the conversation flowed freely. A few people asked if I was running for office, and I told them I was considering it but hadn’t yet fully decided. A few men on the state council smirked at that and told me they would support me both monetarily and with their standing should I decide that was the route I would go. I thanked them. There was music and dancing following the meal. Several women danced with me and a few of them were more than suggestive about wanting to take things further, but I ignored all their advances.
There was only one woman I wanted on my arm, and she wasn’t here. Even worse, it was my fault that she wasn’t.
The longer the party went on, the more I started feeling Cami’s absence. I wanted to sweep her across the floor in my arms and kiss her. More than anything, I just wanted her here at my side.
I’d been so swamped with work the past week that I’d hardly had any time with her at all. She’d been quiet and sweet all week, bringing me meals from time to time when I missed dinner or breakfast because I was stuck in a meeting or a call. I found myself thinking about her visit to my office this morning. She’d dropped off the bagel with her usual soft smile, but she hadn’t looked me in the eye. Not once. Why hadn’t I noticed that hours ago?
I rolled back the clock in my head.
She’d been so quiet this week. She hadn’t come to my office to read a book or to just spend time near me. Sure, we had spent the nights together and she’d cuddled against me when I’d insisted on it, but she hadn’t reached for me. She hadn’t sought out my comfort like she usually did.
She hadn’t even resorted to her usual sassy ways to goad me into smacking her cute little bottom. She hadn’t kissed my cheek or my hands or circled her arms around me.
I’d been so busy. We hadn’t made love in more than a week.
Maybe I was crazy and just missing her, but it was chewing me open from the inside now. Something was wrong and I’d been too involved with work to notice her. There’d been a definitive change in her the morning I’d asked her to find something else to do during the party tonight.
I found myself reliving every moment since that breakfast, trying to catch the things I might have missed and feeling sicker with myself with everything that I remembered.
I needed to fix it. I’d find her as soon as I was done here, and I’d make it up to her.
I glanced at the clock, noticing that it was almost midnight. My guests were starting to trickle out the door. By the time the last one left, I had to be careful not to rush them out because I was frantic to find my little girl.
She’d done exactly as I had asked, but I hated myself for asking that of her. I felt guilty and I wished I could take it back.
I said my goodbyes to the staff and booked it out of the banquet hall.
She had never told me what she was going to do, so I started searching the house. I started in her old room, but she wasn’t there. I tried the swimming pool, the sauna, the movie room, everywhere I could think that she might spend any time in. I searched the whole house, finding no sign of her until I finally ventured into my bedroom with the hope that she’d gone to bed early or decided to enjoy a bath in our massive Jacuzzi tub.
She wasn’t there either, but just as I was about to go search outside, I saw a piece of paper on the pillow out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head and noticed that her cell phone was next to it. She didn’t really use it for much, but I knew she kept it for emergencies and knowing she’d left it behind was alarming to say the least.
With a sinking heart, I rushed over to the letter and picked it up. My fingers were shaking, but I ignored it as I read through the handwritten words she’d left for me to find.
Mason,
I’ve struggled to write this letter all day. I’ve written twenty different variations and torn them all up, but I’ve run out of time so this will have to be the last one.
I’ve treasured our time together, but in my heart, I’ve always known that a girl like me is never meant to end up with a man like you. I don’t want my presence in your life to embarrass you or cause you any hardship. I don’t want to hold you back. I can’t stand the thought of hurting you like that, but I also can’t live a life where I have to hide our relationship like it’s something to be ashamed of. I tried, but it hurts too much.
I’m sorry. To make it easier on the both of us, I’ll go. I wish you the best in everything you do. I love you and I hope you understand.
