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“What was it?” Tessa asked breathlessly as she slammed on the brakes and checked the mirrors. A woman with dyed blue hair and a lip full of piercings waved her fist in the air as she pulled a rolling suitcase toward the tarmac.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t see her,” Tessa stuttered. She reached for Mason’s hand and pulled him close. Emily was singing her own little tune, lost in the excitement of the day.
“Something’s not right,” he whispered so quietly against the silk of her shirt that she felt the words more than heard them.
“I know.” Tessa kissed the top of his head. “But we’re going to be okay and I promise you’ll be safe.”
Mason pulled himself from the embrace and sat up on his knees. His breath was hot against Tessa’s ear as he whispered, “What if Dad isn’t there?”
He glanced nervously at Emily and Tessa’s heart caught in her throat when she realized the silent burden her son had been carrying all alone in his little head. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. It was so hard to remember that the boy who cried about melting popsicles and ran around in underwear pretending to be a superhero was becoming more aware of adult problems every day.
She smoothed back his hair, staring into his eyes as he looked to her for reassurance. “When the power goes out, a lot of things can happen.”
“Like cars get sick,” Emily said, suddenly present in the moment.
Tessa cringed and inhaled deeply. “When a big, big thing makes the power go out, lots of things can happen. It seems like some cars can get sick. The water can stop flowing from the sink. Our food doesn’t stay cold in the fridge anymore. And sometimes things won’t happen like we want them to.”
“So Dad might not be coming home.” Mason closed his eyes and fell back against the seat.
She didn’t want to do this. Not now when they still had hope. The speech about delayed deployments like the one when Mason was four and how they had to be brave like always died upon her lips. Emily twisted her ankles to admire her shoes and Mason’s shoulders sagged as he waited for the blow to come. In the blink of an eye, he’d grown old enough that keeping hard truths from him would do more harm than good. She hated herself for not seeing it sooner, for still clinging to the last days of magic when he wanted to hear the truth. Is Santa coming next?
“I don’t know,” Tessa said. “We are supposed to pick him up and I haven’t been able to get in touch with anyone who would tell me otherwise. If he’s not there, then we’ll find out where he is and how much longer we have to wait.”
The kids were silent, lost in their own thoughts, and it broke her heart to know that she’d crushed theirs. She ruffled the top of Mason’s hair. “But we don’t know that yet, so stop worrying until we do.”
He lifted his face and smiled. “There’s my boy.” She pinched his cheek. Moose gave a low growl and jumped up between the kids barking just as Tessa glanced over to the passenger side window to see a man standing right outside, inches away from Emily. He dug in his pocket making eye contact with Tessa. She held in a strangled cry as she shifted into drive.
“Wait.” The man hit his palm against the window and Mason let go of Moose’s collar as he jumped onto Emily’s lap still barking. Tessa floored it, kicking up rocks at the business man who stood waving his wallet in the cloud of dust they left behind.
“Who was that?” Emily grunted, pushing Moose off her lap and back onto the floorboard.
“A strange man.” Tessa kept her focus on the road and her hands tight on the wheel to stop them from shaking.
“We don’t talk to strangers,” Emily whispered. She closed her eyes and started to sing. Mason reached over to grab her hand and a single tear slid down Tessa’s cheek.
What is happening now?!
Tessa slammed on the brakes. The 78 spit them out on a sharp right turn under the overpass of I-5 and it was a short drive up the hill to get to the main gate of base, but she couldn’t move past the tunnel. If seeing no people in once crowded places was scary, this many of them where there shouldn’t be any was terrifying. She hesitated. Her hand hovered above the drive shaft and she wanted to throw it in reverse and escape, but other than a few curious glances, no one seemed to care about the truck being there.
But she couldn’t get any closer and see the gate without plowing through the mass of bodies. She backed up to the gas station and put the truck in park.
“I want to get Daddy,” Emily whined as she kicked her plastic shoes against the dashboard.
“Let me think,” Tessa snapped, and instantly regretted it when Emily started to cry. She reached for her and rubbed a soothing hand along her arm. “There’s a lot of people out there and I don’t think they are letting anyone in.”
“Can we go check?” Mason asked, the last bit of hope fading from his eyes.
Tessa bit her lip and nodded. “Alright baby, let’s go see.”
She took the keys from the ignition and shoved them in her pocket, leaning over to unbuckle Emily as she locked the passenger side door. Emily scrambled across the seat clinging to her mother’s neck. “Hold my hand and don’t let go.” She squeezed Mason’s fingers. He nodded, not daring to speak. Emily kept her legs wrapped around Tessa’s waist as she climbed down from the truck.
“Stay here bud.” Tessa pushed Moose’s thick head back into the truck as she locked the door and closed it behind them.
The putrid smell of unwashed bodies and the gut-wrenching sound of babies crying tore at her heart while she pushed her way through the crowd.
“Mom?” Mason gasped as she pulled him past a veteran in a wheelchair who was missing both legs and had a blood-soaked and dirt crusted gauze wrapped around his head. She wanted to help him, but she couldn’t with the kids here. Emily buried her face against Tessa’s chest and started to hum.
“Close your eyes,” Tessa whispered, forcing her way closer to the gate.
