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“How? I mean, what am I supposed to do now?” I think about returning to my life as a sales clerk and immediately want to puke. I can’t go back to that. I just can’t do it. It’s not what my life is for. I’m not meant to deal with crabby people who can’t follow simple rules, who get pissed at me when I don’t make their menial lives easier.
I need more. I deserve more.
“Go home,” Mike says. “Figure out what it is you want.”
“What I want just left in an SUV without looking back.” I swing my arm out in the direction they went. I’ve already lost sight of it.
“I get it.” Mike nods. “But he’ll be back.”
“When?” I ask, a slight whine in my voice that I hate.
“That isn’t something I can answer, unfortunately.” Mike leans in and gives me a hug, saying goodbye, probably for the last time, and I look to the busy street for a cab.
On the ride to the airport, I look down at my outfit; it’s now smudged and wrinkled. The ring I forgot I was wearing sparkles when the lights from the Strip flash into the cab. I feel tears gather in my eyes, and I hold them back.
The phone Mike gave me vibrates, and my breath catches at the words on the screen.
I’ll find you as soon as possible. I promise.
I don’t reply, because I know the only thing I want to say isn’t something I’m brave enough to put out there, especially with how we left things.
I tuck it away, thinking over the last few weeks, thinking about how much has changed, how much I’ve changed. I can’t go back to the life I had before. I have to find something more. I have to change my life to fit who I’ve become.
