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‘Did you enjoy last night? I think we did a great job of making Ace’s birthday a success and keeping Joe out of trouble.’
‘You know what, I think it was one of the most fun things I’ve ever done, and it was so lovely to hear you and Joe sing. It gave me goosebumps. And Ace said it was one of his best birthdays, regardless of all the stuff that’s going on so yes, you did good.’
Jenny gave her a nudge. ‘Hey, it was a team effort. And it was nice to see old Gussy out of his room. You know, back in the day he loved a party as much as the rest of us and I hate seeing him so sick.’
‘Ace is really worried about him, you know. He thinks there’s more to it than what he’s been told.’
Jenny knew what Edie was getting at. ‘And he is correct, so I’ll talk to him about it later, but hopefully between Joe and I, we can get him well.’
‘Does he not have family? Ace says he never married.’
‘He has a sister, Anne, she’s much older than him and in a care facility, so apart from distant cousins we are his family. He had plenty of relationships along the way, but he never settled with anyone for long. Said he never found the one, a lady who would put up with his first love which is NorthStar. It’s a shame because he’s one of the good guys even though he won’t accept that.’
‘I like him a lot. He and Joe seem very close even though I reckon Joe sometimes tries his patience, like last night.’
Jenny laughed. ‘Hey, believe me those two have had their disagreements but more the kind brothers have. They have a bond that goes back to the early days and even though NorthStar was Joe’s baby, Gus nurtured it, them all really. In a way, he is part of the band. He just doesn’t stand on stage with them. That’s why we have to get him well, it’s as simple as that because Joe will fall apart if anything happens to Gus.’
Jenny paused a while so they could drink, and then got down to the real business of the day. ‘I’ve been meaning to ask how you’re doing. Everyone is so focused on Joe’s troubles, but I noticed you looked kinda sad last night and kept checking your phone. Is there anything bothering you?’
Edie didn’t answer immediately, appeared to be giving it some thought. ‘I was hoping my gran would ring. I called her yesterday and couldn’t get hold of her. Turns out she was being a Good Samaritan. I think I just wanted to hear her voice.’
‘It’s homesickness.’ Another nudge. ‘Don’t tell anyone, because I can’t have anyone thinking I’m going soft on a guy, but I’m missing Hector, sex, Mexico City, and the warmth of the sun, in that order.’
Edie giggled and nudged Jenny in return. ‘Okay, your secret’s safe with me. And yes, I probably am a bit homesick which is weird because I got used to being away from Gran when I was at uni and I’m loving being here with you all, it’s just…’
Jenny waited for her to finish the sentence and when she didn’t, gave her a prompt. ‘Edie, hey, look at me.’ Edie turned. ‘I know we only met a few days back, but I want you to know I’m a good listener and if there’s something bothering you, I’m here. And believe me, there aren’t many problems I ain’t heard, and it’s true that if you share, it lightens the load and maybe I can help you out. If you keep it all locked inside it only gets worse. And I can see it in your eyes, the windows to our soul, that something is eating you up.’
When Edie’s eyes filled with tears and her lip began to wobble, yet still no words came, Jenny reached out and wrapped her arm around Edie’s shoulder and pulled her close and took a punt. ‘It’s been tough, hearing about all that stuff from the past and matching the Joe you’ve got to know with the guy in the tabloids and on TV. And believe me, honey, I know what it was like back then, and I hate hearing about what those women went through; it brings back bad memories for me. Is that what it is? Has all of this made you think of your mom?’
Jenny felt the sob as it escaped and gave Edie a moment to get it together. When she pulled away and wiped her eyes, she turned to face the fields as she answered. ‘I never stop thinking about my mum. I know I don’t talk about her or how she died, but that’s because it’s too sad and painful and it won’t bring her back.’
‘No honey, it won’t but like I said, locking it all up inside might be getting too much for you. Look at Joe. He’s been in denial for years, keeping it all to himself and I can tell it’s tormenting him, and he needs to speak out, stand up for himself and tell it from his side before it eats him alive, otherwise that lot by the gate will have him for dinner. You two are very alike, stubborn mules if ever I saw them. You even have the same kind of eyes, watchful and wary, too much going on behind the scenes for your own good.’
When Edie put her chin to her chest and began to cry into her coffee mug, it took Jenny by surprise, the answer came before she could even ask what was wrong.
‘Have you ever made a terrible, terrible mistake? Done something so stupid that you can’t actually believe you’ve been so ridiculous and pathetic, and that no matter how much you tell yourself it’s going to be okay, deep down you know it’s not and you’ve ruined everything?’
There was only one answer to that. ‘Edie, of course I have. Before I met Joe my life was one huge mistake after another and even when I found the nicest guy in the world I still pushed the self-destruct button, and I’ve done it since. It’s like my finger constantly hovers over that big red blob. But hey, I survived. And whatever it is that’s bothering you, I can help. I know I can.’
Jenny knew her words weren’t getting through when Edie continued to sob so all she could do was pull her close and let her cry it out. ‘It’s okay honey, it’s okay. I got you. Just let it go.’
They stayed like that for minutes, Jenny watching the chickens eat the most boring breakfast ever and Donna rub her huge pink butt against the fence post. When finally, Edie pulled herself together, she sat upright and wiped her eyes as Jenny improvised, offering one of her gloves in place of a handkerchief. ‘It’s okay, it’ll wash.’
Making a half turn of her body, Edie faced Jenny, twisting the soggy glove as she spoke. ‘I want you to know, it’s important that you believe me, that I love Ace so much, and I never meant or want to hurt him in any way and my feelings for him won’t change no matter what.’
On hearing the words, Jenny’s heart plummeted, and her body tensed. She hadn’t been expecting this, the potential that whatever was bugging Edie would affect Ace. And she hoped that her fear and sudden swell of – what was it, animosity, a primal scream as a mother’s instinct kicked in, putting her child’s survival above that of anyone and anything? – didn’t reflect in her expression.
‘Okay, I believe you.’ And she did, badly wanted to anyway, because there was something about the blotchy-skinned young woman seated before her that no matter how hard she tried to loosen the grip, the pitiful look in her eyes clung tightly to Jenny’s soul.
Edie sucked in the air, making an O-shape with her lips and after straightening her spine and throwing her shoulders back, as though preparing for a fight, she began. ‘My mum was…’
Her words were halted by those of Lance, calling from the back door. ‘Dad, Jenny, you need to come inside right now, hurry up. Come on.’
There was nothing they could do other than to heed the call, rushing across the yard, both sporting damp patches on the seat of their jeans. And as they ran, Jenny wasn’t sure what she was dreading the most. Whatever was going on inside the house or, whatever Edie was about to say.
