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He was balancing his chair on two legs, whistling tunelessly as she stopped in the doorway but as she came approached, he rose, all easy muscles and lazy grace. His dark hair tumbled into his eyes and he shoved it back with the impatience of one used to the annoyance. He’d either cut it himself or nag a friend into it once the annoyance outweighed his lack of enthusiasm over what he typically viewed as a waste of time.
She suspected that would happen in the next few weeks.
As he smiled at her, she had a fleeting memory from their childhood—Etan rushing through the woods, her clinging to his shoulders as she giggled.
“Quiet, squirt! Saint will find you in a second if you can’t be quiet!”
“Hide and seek,” she murmured.
Etan stopped short, head cocked.
She smiled, the memory so bright and strong now, it was a pang in her heart. “I just remembered... you and Saint would play hide and seek with me. I learned all the best places to hide and how to confuse anybody on my backtrail because you two played with me.”
A muscle pulsed in Etan’s cheek but he said nothing, his gaze sliding away from hers.
“It wasn’t ever just a game, was it?”
“Does it matter?” Looking at her once more, Etan took a deep breath, broad shoulders straining against his faded, well-worn drab olive t-shirt. “You had fun. And we did what we could to help you learn to take care of yourself. Fuck all knows our father wasn’t going to take time out from his crusade to make sure his daughter was okay.”
The words were nothing but the truth, but they still had the impact of a punch to the heart. She absorbed that emotional blow without letting the pain show, lashes sweeping down to hide her eyes.
“Fuck, Zee. That was... I shouldn’t have... ”
“No.” She shook her head. “We all know who Samuel was, what he was. He was so caught up in stopping Graves that he lost sight of everything else.” She studied her brother’s face. It wasn’t anything they ever talked about, but Etan wasn’t her brother by blood. She knew little about what had brought Etan into the Day family, but if nothing else, she was grateful to Samuel for at least that—for the brothers he’d given her, Etan, Saint, Liam, even Phoenix, damn his stubborn ass. “But none of you ever did. I’m sorry I let all the hurt come between us.”
Etan cupped her cheek, his calluses rough against her skin. “Zee, you don’t owe anybody an apology. We’re the ones who didn’t take care of you.”
“You would have, if I’d let you.” She offered a wry smile. “It’s not like I didn’t take off running and do my damnedest to hide from everybody. I guess you and Saint taught me a little too well.”
“Maybe.” Expression still troubled, Etan pulled her into a tight hug.
Tears stung her eyes but she blinked them away. “How about we stop looking back at what we should have done and focus on here and now, focus on making the future better, huh?”
“Sounds good to me,” he said, voice raspy. “But just so you know... ?”
When he didn’t continue, Zee pulled away and met his gaze with a curious cock of her brow.
“You’re dealing with Phoenix on your own.”
A bright laugh gurgled out of her and she threw her arms around Etan, squeezing tight. “You and Saint, I swear. You’ve always been afraid of him. But he’s a pussycat if you handle him right.”
“Uh-huh.”
