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Their gazes locked, the green similar enough that it was more than a little unsettling, and after a moment, Alison inclined her head. “Do you remember me? From when you lived here before?”
The change in topic threw Zee but she only nodded, waiting.
“You knew I had a crush on him.” Alison turned to face Zee again, her gaze direct. “I hated you, you know. I’d seen the two of you together, him kissing you, you making him laugh. He used to play with me when I was younger, but then a few months before you moved to Durham-Starfell, I’d told him I loved him. He was always so nice, I thought he felt the same way. He just patted me on the shoulder like the kid I was and told me I was sweet, but it was only a crush. And he walked away.”
Now she averted her eyes and took a deep breath. “He was wrong, you know. I’ve loved him my whole life. And I know him, better than most. So I know he’ll never love me. But that’s the adult me. Back then, silly teenaged me? I was crushed. And you come along, not much older than me and he’s like a fish with a hook in his mouth. I hated you. I did my best to be everywhere the two of you were, just so you two couldn’t spend more time together alone. And you were always so nice.”
Eyes shimmering now with a veil of angry tears, Alison shook her head.
“Then... fuck. This is embarrassing. You know I showed up here one afternoon. You were supposed to be in class, or so I thought. I’d skipped the entire day—it was one of the first times Niko was left in charge, with the Prime’s seconds to act as back up. Niko was here alone, and I thought, I can do this. I can show him. I could make him see that I could give him the same things you could. He was swimming and I took off my clothes and got into the pool, then went to him... and he yelled at me. He was cold. At the time, I thought he was being so damn mean... but I’d freaked him out, and the two of you were already forging a bond, but I didn’t know it, didn’t realize how deeply it would affect things. I grabbed my clothes and took off—you showed up at the same time. The two of you thought I left. I didn’t.”
Zee winced in sympathy. “Alison... ”
“He was livid and angry, freaking out and I was close enough to hear all of it. And you told him to stop being an ass. He couldn’t believe what you’d said and you asked him if he hadn’t ever wanted somebody so bad, he’d do almost anything to make that person see him.” Alison sucked in a breath. “You got it. Even though he was taken and had never been mine... you got it. You had every right to be angry with me, but instead, you told him he was being an asshole and shouldn’t have yelled like he did. So... no, Zee, I don’t hate you.”
Alison turned to go.
“Alison.”
This time, Alison only stopped, not looking back.
“I can tell you still love him. I’m sorry for that. But as long as I’m around... keep your distance.”
Alison laughed softly. “Like I said, he’s never been mine. All this time, I’ve been borrowing him... and maybe wishing, hoping. But I always knew if you ever came back, I’d be relegated to the sidelines again. Now that it’s happened, I’ll find a way to let him go. Don’t worry about that.”
