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“You are if you’re doing it deliberately. And I think you are.” Moving in closer, he dipped his head to breathe in her scent. It hit him like a punch straight to the gut and when he heard her shaky inhalation, it had all the impact of a velvety stroke over his cock, from the tip all the way down to his balls. “Am I right, Zee? Are you trying to push me into madness?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said.
But both of them heard the lie.
Nuzzling her neck, he moved up until he could nip her earlobe.
She brought up her hands, fisting them against his chest. “Stop it. We’re not having sex again.”
“Ever?” He rubbed his cheek against hers. “Or just not right now?”
“Niko.”
It was the last thing he wanted to do, but Niko gave her neck one final nip, then lifted his head.
The scent of her lust perfumed the air, threatening to truly drive him mad.
“You want sex. I mean, clearly you’ve gotten used to having it at the drop of a hat. Hundreds of lovers, remember?” She glared at him as she tried to twist away. “I mean, hell, not that long ago, you were planning to bring one of those numerous lovers with you to the mourning ceremony.”
Fuck.
“Maybe I just said that to see how you’d react.”
She snarled, the sound so rough and low, he wouldn’t have been surprised to see her eyes glowing the green-gold of her wolf. “Don’t you think you’ve fucked around with my emotions enough?”
The tension in her words, the things she left unsaid hit him straight in the heart and he almost let go, almost gave her the space she said she wanted.
Maybe it’s that easy for a pure Therian, Niko. But you don’t have something... else living inside you. That part that makes me a leech demands more control.
That had been her comment when he’d discussed them coming to the mourning ceremony with lovers—not that he planned on letting that happen. Yes, he was a manipulative son of a bitch. But the stark loneliness in her eyes when she’d replied had hit him hard, so much harder than he would have anticipated.
Maybe it’s that easy for a pure Therian.
How many times had she needed comfort and pulled back from friends instead of letting them help her ease the burdens, stand beside her and shoulder some of her pain? Even just friendly hugs, a shoulder to lean on could make all the difference in the world.
Crowding her up against the same tall, carved wooden post where he’d just lost himself inside her minutes earlier, he cupped her cheek. “I have, you’re right. In my defense, and this doesn’t excuse it, I’ve always gone a little crazy where you’re concerned, Zee. The past ten years have made me into more of an asshole than I already was. Now I’m around you, smelling you. Half the time, you barely look at me. I can’t even blame you, but logic goes out the window if I’m around you more than a minute.”
She squeezed her eyes closed. When she finally looked at him, it was with a naked, unguarded expression.
“What do you want, Niko?”
“You shouldn’t ask such broad questions.” Feathering a line of kisses over her cheek, he nuzzled her neck, then bit her lightly. He didn’t use much pressure and ended contact within seconds.
Still, she shivered and arched, her head falling back to give him better access as her fingers curled into his shirt. “Right now, I want to bend you over the bed and fill you again, deep and slow, until you’re moaning and begging me to let you come, until both of us forget everything except this connection between us. I want to lay you down on the bed and strip you naked, then kiss every damn inch of you and lick you between your thighs until you’re begging me like you did last night. I want to imprint myself on you so even when I’m not close enough to touch you, when you breathe, you’ll scent me, taste me, feel me... the same way I’ve scented you, tasted you, felt you for the last decade.”
She tightened her hands in his shirt, but her eyes went hard as she glared at him.
“Don’t go acting like you’ve been missing me for the last ten years, Niko. You were the reason I had to leave.”
“And I’ll spend the next ten trying to make that up to you if that’s what it takes. If ten years isn’t enough, then I’ll spend the next ten decades. Ten centuries if I have to.”
She blinked and he caught what might have been surprise in her eyes before she got her expression under control.
“What if I decide not to stay in Durham-Starfell?” she asked.
His heart tore apart a little more. The wounds on his heart, wounds he’d inflicted himself, long ago, weren’t even close to healed. Now, with her reluctance to even give them a chance, he’d almost swear he could feel the slow, insidious bleeding of that destroyed, useless organ.
If she knew how easy it would be to break what was left of it...
