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Chapter Thirty
Lena
Iawoke with a start. I’d had a dream that Troy called me on my phone, telling me he knew where I was. A phone I didn’t have anymore. I had to admit, I was very relieved about that. I knew I’d covered my tracks well and that he’d have to do some heavy-duty investigating to locate me. At this point, though, I didn’t want to underestimate the power that I knew he possessed when it came to getting what he wanted.
He was ruthless to the core. I’d witnessed him track down a guy who’d owed him money once. I remember being amazed at his persistence and the extreme measures he’d gone through to locate the guy, who at the time seemed to have escaped the entire planet, not only the city of Medford. So, I knew, if I stayed in one place too long, Troy would find me.
I took the dream as an omen and decided right then, no matter how much I loved it here or how wonderful I thought Jackson was, I needed to make this place a temporary stop. Jackson was a great guy. A guy I could fall hard for if I let myself. But knowing that Troy would eventually find me, I couldn’t risk staying here too much longer. I’d give it a month or two, long enough to pay Jackson back for all he’d done for me, and then I’d leave. Maybe continue heading south. The farther I distanced myself from Oregon, the better.
When Jackson had come up the other day with the divorce papers, I’d almost refused to sign them for fear that if I did, Troy would be able to find me merely through osmosis. I knew that, no matter what I did, sign them or not, letting the divorce go through wouldn’t make Troy stop looking for me. But Jackson seemed to think a divorce would make a world of difference. How could I argue with the nicest guy on the planet, a guy so determined to look out for my best interests? Jackson had been … well, still is my savior.
Over the past few days, I’d stayed inside and vegged in front of the TV, watching reruns of Charmed and Buffy. They’d been my favorite shows as a kid and brought some comfort with memories of a time when it was only my mom and me. But I’d gotten lucky yesterday when I found a marathon of The Walking Dead. Troy hadn’t allowed me to watch it. He said it was stupid and asked why I would want to watch a show about dead people eating people. Watching it now gave me an extra amount of satisfaction because he couldn’t control me anymore.
I hadn’t seen Jackson at all during the past couple of days, and I wondered if I’d said or did something to make him not come up and see how I was. It was almost as though he’d done a one-eighty. He’d been so worried and helpful before. So… oh my God. Did he pull away because he thought that was what I wanted? Or maybe he found someone else he’d rather give his attention to. I knew it was probably better if he did, but for some reason that idea bothered me.
The reality of the situation being, I was nothing but trouble, and Jackson would be much better off with anyone but me.
I glanced at the window. The sun was out today, and spring was right around the corner. I took a deep breath and knew it was time. It seemed like a great day to venture out and get some stuff at the store.
I still wasn’t quite sure about showing my face around this small town, but I’d gone through most of the items Jackson had brought up for me. There were still some things left, but a girl can only take so much pasta before she explodes from an overdose of carbs. Some fruits and vegetables were definitely on my shopping list, and I didn’t want to ask Jackson or Brodie to go to the store for me. I’d asked Jackson not to bring me anything else. I didn’t want to keep using him that way, especially knowing that I’d decided to leave at the end of the month. It was hard to get him to agree, but once I told him I needed to start fending for myself and taking care of myself if I ever wanted to succeed in this new life he seemed so hell-bent on me having, he backed down. Well, I didn’t say it that way, but I wanted to so that I could get it through his gorgeous skull that I didn’t need any more of his help. He’d been coming on a little too strong. Not to the point that I didn’t like it; I did like it, too much, and that was the problem. It appeared that he’d backed so far away now, though I’d never see him. Being up here by myself made me realize how much I missed his company—another reason I needed to leave.
I stood in the bathroom, hardly recognizing the girl in the mirror. I still wasn’t used to the blonde hair. I missed my long, dark auburn shade, and I didn’t care much for the dark roots that were already visible only after a little over two weeks. I didn’t know how I’d make it a whole month without a touch-up. I might need to see Leslie sooner than that, but I knew that would cost money, and I didn’t start working at the bar until Monday. I wanted to wait until all the bruising on my face went entirely away before I started working. No matter how much Jackson said he liked the color of my hair, I still thought it made me look a little washed-out and fake. I had to admit it did make me look completely different, though, and might help keep Troy from finding me.
I got dressed and put on a bit of make-up, managing to cover almost all of the bruising that was mostly a yellowish color now but still visible. Maybe I could start working at the bar sooner. Jackson mentioned that he wanted me to start on a slow night, though, and since today was Friday, I’d most likely still need to wait until Monday. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, which showed the dark roots at the hairline of my forehead, so I quickly took that out. God, I hated this. Maybe bangs? No. I hated those too. Then I’d always need to have them cut. I was a simple girl and disliked the idea of “needing” to go have my hair done all the time. Only, I knew the blonde hair was a necessary evil, one that might save my life.
I grabbed my keys and went out onto the landing. I turned to lock the door, ensuring it was secure by pulling on it, and then headed down to my car.
Jackson stood at the bottom of the stairs, one foot on the first step as if he’d been on his way up. My heart danced a little, and my stomach did a little flippity-flop at the sight of his gorgeous face.
