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Heartbreak
Kade
Infertile.
My mind spun with the information the doctor had just spewed at me, indifferent to the storm it caused within me. He could really do with working on his bedside manner. Though I got the impression that it was more to do with me being a shifter and also an omega. I’d always tried to avoid doctors where I could and had bought my blockers from an online pharmacy.
I hadn’t known that staying on the heat blockers could harm me long-term, that it could damage my fertility. If I’d known, I’d have found some other way to get through the heats without them. I couldn’t remember reading the information that came with them, but when I’d gotten the prescription, the online doctor I’d video chatted with didn’t tell me that could happen. Why wasn’t I warned that sustained use of them could do so much damage? Tears threatened to spill.
“Is it permanent damage?” I asked the doctor carefully.
He observed me for a second, then looked at my results that he’d had rushed. He was an older man, human most likely, in his fifties or slightly later with gray hair and lines around his mouth and eyes. His blue eyes held no small amount of condemnation, as if I’d done this on purpose. He clearly had a problem with me being an omega. Male omegas faced a lot of discrimination since we made up less than a third of the omega designation. Women were betas or omegas. Never alphas. Humans were much more comfortable with omega females, since human males couldn’t give birth like we could. It had been an extra gift from our goddess, Luna, to make up for our reduced fertility. We could only get pregnant during heats, four times a year, unlike human females.
“There is your wolf healing to consider, so any damage being lasting would depend on how your wolf aspect recovers and if —“
“If?”
“If the reproductive system is required. To be blunt Mr. Turner, you’ve put your body through quite a lot with the sustained use of the blockers, the poor nutrition, lack of regular shifting, and then the magic use on top of all that.” He settled in for what I figured was going to be a long lecture. I could feel his genuine dislike of me in how he sat and stared while he ruined my life as if it didn’t matter. “If you want to have children at any point in the future, you need some rest, to put these things right, and to find a mate. I wouldn’t put it off. The longer it goes unhealed, and doesn’t have a reason to heal, then the less likely it will be that it does.”
“What can I do?”
“After speaking to the witch healer that also attended you, we’ve agreed that it is likely that your wolf healing will kick in. However, your wolf is dormant just now and will need to be woken after some rest. The healer removed all traces of magic on you, but given your reaction to magic with science, we couldn’t risk him trying to heal your reproductive system. In short, you need to focus the magic of your healing ability by giving it a reason to do the work. Does that make sense?”
My heart sank because it made sense, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. I didn’t want a mate, but I also didn’t want to damn my future self to a life without children just because I had issues with alphas now. There was no telling what the future could bring me.
A vision of summer sky-blue eyes shot with a dash of silver that I’d seen before I passed out flashed in front of my eyes before I pushed that thought away.
Alphas were dangerous, but apparently, there were things in place for omegas who were unmated to have heats safely. I needed to find out more about these heat clubs. I wondered why I hadn’t heard about them before. Had I become too isolated? I hardly had any shifter friends and hadn’t been a member of a pack for years.
“Thank you, it does.” I finally got out.
“Do you feel up to visitors? There are people in the waiting room including your ‘in case of emergency,’” he paused to look at the chart, “a Dakota Flemming?”
Groaning inwardly, I wondered if I had the energy to deal with Dakota after all that had happened today. I’d woken on a bed, an IV in my arm as the doctor and two nurses fussed over me, checking all my vitals and taking blood samples. I’d been out long enough to travel the distance from the Sweetwater pack compound all the way to Northarbor General Hospital.
“I... can’t, I’m sorry. I just want to sleep.” Guilt rose inside that they’d waited for me, but I just didn’t have the energy. There was too much for me to process. I imagined Dakota was pretty worked up. He’d told me I was harming myself and I hated that he’d been right. Though he’d probably have some sort of solution. I’d message him some sort of apology. “Could I have my phone, please? I need to contact some people.”
“Of course,” The doctor reached over to a chair where all my things were neatly folded. I’d been so out of it I hadn’t even noticed that they’d changed me into a gown. “We want to keep you overnight to give you fluids and observe the start of your weaning off the blockers. You’re in for a rough few days, I’m afraid, but once they are flushed from your system, you should see a rapid improvement.”
The doctor, who hadn’t introduced himself, soon left the room muttering about blessed shifters, but I ignored him and messaged Dakota instead.
Kade: I’m sorry about today. I just need to sleep. Thanks for coming to check on me, I appreciate it. I’ve got to stay overnight.
I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t what I got in reply.
Dakota: Get some rest and I’ll pick you up tomorrow when you can get out. We can talk then.
That was ominous, but really, I deserved a lecture. He had tried to warn me.
Putting my phone aside, I tried to relax against the slightly scratchy sheets to drift into sleep, one word playing on repeat constantly. Infertile.
Tears flowed, and I did nothing to stop them.
Sleep in hospitals was near impossible. Something had woken me when they’d moved me to another ward, then I’d been woken again when they did rounds and checked my vitals.
By the time that morning light had dawned, I was desperate to get out of the place and home to my own bed.
I rang for a nurse at seven, only to be told I’d have to wait until at least eight when the doctor did their rounds. My skin felt tight and prickly, and I was nauseous. Unable to eat the breakfast of toast that they put in front of me, I pushed it away. I’d attempted it and had to clamp my mouth shut to prevent it from coming straight back up again.
