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When Dakota returned, he passed a steaming mug to me and settled against the headboard next to me with his own mug. “Smelled good, so I thought I’d join you. Hope you don’t mind.”
“No, it’s cool, I should have said.” I sipped at the hot liquid, nearly burning my tongue in the process.
“You have a lot on your mind.”
“True, but it’s basic manners, and Papa taught me better.” I smiled at the remembrance of those lessons. Papa hadn’t been near as firm with me as Dad, but look out when his temper got up!
Dakota chuckled, “Sounds like my Papa.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I love that man, such a gentle soul, but he’s fierce in a temper.”
I let out a laugh, a real one, and caught Dakota’s grin. “I’m not going to tell you all that happened. Just know that mostly, my childhood was good.” I drank more of my tea, the mint soothing my stomach and throat. “Only when I was a teen, I began to see the cracks. I saw how the other alphas in the pack were treating their omegas compared to what the council was teaching us in school and online. Dad and Papa had failed to have another child and their mating was suffering for it. When I turned eighteen and started having heats, they argued a lot about how to handle them. Papa didn’t want me to have to mate with alphas, but Dad wanted the prestige of picking out a mate for me.”
Dakota flinched and I took his hand again, reassuring us both and we sat drinking for a minute before I continued. “I ended up betrothed to this alpha son of my dad’s second and Roan was okay, really, he was. We dated from when I turned nineteen until we fled the pack just before I turned twenty-one.” His fingers tightened around my hand. “I’m okay, I got away,” I reminded him.
“Papa had just given birth, their first child in twenty years, to a beta girl. Sometimes you can’t tell until they are older, but it was obvious and Dad had Angelica tested. He was furious that he’d been given a ‘worthless’ child after so long. He’d stopped beating Papa when he’d been pregnant, but it got worse after Angelica’s birth. They argued over me too when they thought I couldn’t hear. Dad didn’t want to wait until I came of age. He wanted me trapped and pregnant like Papa had been, and my boyfriend, Roan, usually followed what Dad decreed.”
I had to pause and gather myself for the toughest part of the story. “I went into heat a couple of months before my birthday. Papa had been giving me blockers, but Dad kept finding them, so it only pushed my heat off a few days. He wanted me pregnant by Roan before I was twenty-one so that no other alpha would want me and they could keep me in the pack. Dad was terrified of handing me over to another pack.” I took a deep breath before I could continue as the memories assailed me, “so he was furious. He beat me and kept me locked up until I went into heat.” I felt Dakota tense like he was ready to go defend me. “Papa was only permitted to see me to get me cleaned up before they took me to Roan.” I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “Roan wasn’t there and Dad snapped. He blamed Papa for poisoning both Roan and me against their alpha leader. I was too weak to help Papa, and I begged him to leave while he could, even if that meant leaving me in Dad’s hands. It was a miracle we survived.”
“You don’t have to tell me all this. You know that, right?” Dakota’s face shifted with several complicated emotions.
“I have had no one to talk to about this in five years and there’s just something so comforting about you, Dakota. I know you want more from me, but I thought —“
“Thought I’d understand why you struggle with alphas so much if you told me? I do, and I’m sorry that you feel like you have to push me away. I want to be your friend and if that’s all I get, then I’ll try to be good with it, but Kade, I’d treat you so good. Really, I would, but I’d rather be in your life in any way I can be.”
He set aside our empty mugs and drew me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. The dam broke on my tears and I sobbed into his chest. I cried for the omega I used to be and for the frightened, lonely creature my dad had turned me into. Wails escaped me at the thought of never being able to have my own child, for the shattered dreams of my youth, and even for Roan. For how much I’d wished he loved me for me and not what I would bring to him if we’d mated. I sobbed until I fell asleep in Dakota’s arms.
The light in the room had changed. The shadows shifted and moved from the bright sunlight that filled the room before I fell asleep. I was still curled up on Dakota’s chest, but he wasn’t focused on me. He had his phone in his hand and was scrolling through an internet search.
My breath caught when I recognized Papa’s photograph and the fake headline announcing his death. The story hadn’t fooled Dad for long. “That headline bought us maybe six months of peace,” I whispered. “Dad figured out Papa wasn’t dead and nearly caught me thinking I’d know where he was. Dad thinks we are in touch, you see. He thinks if he can get his hands on me, then Papa will come out of hiding and exchange himself for me.” I sat up, putting a little distance between us.
“So why do you say your Papa is dead?” Dakota asked, searching my face for answers.
“People don’t question your past when you say that your parents are dead.” I dropped my head and picked at a loose thread on the blanket. “I learned the hard way that telling the truth can go bad so quickly. An ex sold me out to my dad once,” I glanced back up at Dakota, “there was a reward for finding me for a while. He often uses the story that someone stole me from him.”
“So why tell me the truth?” He looked pained.
“I don’t know. I guess all my walls are down. It’s been a shit couple of days, but there’s something telling me to trust you.” I took his hand between both of mine, relishing the warmth of him. “I haven’t felt my wolf properly in so long, so I have to rely on my gut, but I trust this deeper sense I have. It tells me you’ve shown me nothing but kindness these last few days and you’d sooner harm yourself than me. Right now, you’re the closest thing I have to an actual friend, and as selfish as it is, I need it.”
“I’ll give you anything you need,” he said sincerely.
“I know,” I said simply, “but I don’t want to take advantage of how you feel about me. I don’t want to hurt you.” Being the focus of Dakota’s care and attention was really just proving that my instincts had been wrong about him. All the times I’d pushed him away weighed heavily on me. We could have been real friends sooner if I’d just looked at the way he behaved without prejudice against him for his designation. I was just so careful around alphas because I’d learnt to be. I was just grateful that he was persistent.
“Being here with you, just looking after you, has given my bear such a feeling of peace. Ever since I met you, my bear has pushed me to watch out for you and sometimes he’s fought me, wanting to do more than I allow him to.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, “that was you being restrained? Moon help me!”
Dakota flushed, and the color was adorable on him. He grumbled, but I didn’t catch the words distracted by the feeling of nausea washing over me.
“I gotta —“ I attempted to scramble off the bed, got tangled and nearly fell, but Dakota caught me. My hand clamped over my mouth to keep it in, and he rushed me to the toilet in time.
We sat on the cool tile for a while, “Don’t you have work?” I eventually asked, my stomach calm again.
“I did a couple of hours this morning, and I’ll head in again shortly. Everyone is worried about you, so I said I’d check-in. Isaac wanted to come, but he’s having issues with his mates.”
“Issues?”
