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“No, I’m just telling you I’ll be back as soon as I have more money.” Never show fear, even when you’re terrified.
That’s what Mom used to say, and I’m listening to the words engraved on my heart again. During this crazy time, her voice has been coming to me stronger than ever before. My mother was a strong, ambitious woman who had to fight hard to become the successful actress she was.
I might not have a career like she did, but I’m her through and through. I’m the kind of woman who will keep fighting even when I’ve been kicked down on the ground a million times, and there’s nothing left for me to hold on to. So I won’t show this man just how fucking scared I am of him.
“Alright, baby. You win today’s round, but I’m still curious to know what those lips of yours will feel like around my dick.” He laughs. “Or better yet, what it will feel like to fuck you. My men are just as curious as me.”
“That’s not going to happen.” I swallow hard and try to keep the bile churning in my gut from spewing out.
“Never say never, Chica. People have to pay bills somehow. If I were you, I’d be grateful fucking is still an option.”
No. It’s not an option. Fucking him and his asshole men is not the same as being at the club. I’m not stupid. I know I’d never be free if I choose that way out.
I don’t bother to answer. I just turn around and walk away, holding my breath until I’m back behind the steering wheel of my car.
I gaze at the shady as shit office I just came out of and shudder. It’s at the back of a pawn shop which I know is a front for some sort of prostitution ring Bill is running. It’s where I’ll end up if I fail.
I should drive the hell away because it’s eight o’clock at night, I’m in the rough part of town where there is always trouble, and there are all sorts of undesirable men standing by the walls watching me. But I’m looking and wondering how the fuck I ended up here.
How could this happen when I went through so much shit after Mom’s death?
I want to pinch myself until I bleed so I can wake from this nightmare, but I know this is my hell.
The tears of the girl inside me want to come out. One slips down my cheek, and that’s all the woman I need to be will allow.
One tear, one break, one moment of weakness. That’s it.
I start the car up and head to the Dark Odyssey.
When I get there, I change into a negligée similar to what I wore last night and make my way up to the fantasy room. There I find Cristiano standing by the glass wall with a view of the colorful school of fishes swimming by in the aquarium.
He turns to face me with that easy grin and instantly I’m taken back to the thrill of last night.
This is the second time I’ve seen this man and he’s had the same mind-numbing effect on me. Something makes me want to get lost in him. I don’t know if it’s his dominance, confidence, or presence.
There’s just something, and if I’m being honest, there’s something about each of them that fascinates me.
I don’t know if that’s normal, but it’s true.
Last night gave me a glimpse of what lies beneath the surface, and I want to see more.
