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“You have to admit we are rather accomplished in the spermatic department, Mom,” Grant said. “Currently, there are six babies on board right at this very table and five others running around this place.”
“And I’m responsible for four of them all at once, lest any of you forget,” Adam added.
“Oh my God,” Abby said. “Will you please shut your stinking piehole?”
“I love her so much,” Evan said, laughing. “She shuts you right down.”
Adam grinned at his wife. “She loves me.”
“Someone’s gotta,” Mac said.
Adam and Abby’s son, Liam, perked up in his high chair. “Piehole,” he said as clear as day.
“Stop it,” Abby said, horrified. “That cannot be his first word!”
“This family is certifiable,” Stephanie declared, “and I love every minute of it.”
Mallory and Quinn laughed so hard, they held each other up.
“Take it back, Liam! Say Mommy like a good boy.”
“Piehole.”
Abby shrieked. “I can’t!”
Liam’s face lit up with delight. “Piehole, piehole, piehole.”
“Make it stop, Adam! Right now!”
“Buddy, Mommy said a bad, bad thing, and you shouldn’t say what she says, okay?”
“Piehole.”
Moaning, Abby dropped her face into her hands. “Shoot me right now.”
“Get out the baby book,” Linda said. “First word ‘piehole.’”
More moaning from Abby. “How am I going to handle five of them?”
“I’d recommend keeping them away from these people,” Grace said. “They seem to be the source of all the trouble.”
“Yes!” Abby said. “I’ve never used that expression in my life until I was married to Adam McCarthy, and he drove me to it.”
“You love my piehole,” Adam said. “I can list numerous examples when—”
Abby’s hand over his mouth shut him down. For the moment, anyway.
“Back to my vasectomy,” Mac said, appreciative of his family taking his mind off his worries for a few minutes.
“We’ve fully covered that topic, son,” Big Mac said. “It’s no big deal. One quick pinch, a little tugging, and it’s over in fifteen minutes.”
“That one quick pinch is a shot to the ball sack, Dad.”
Big Mac waved a dismissive hand. “It’s over in a second.”
Mac hoped he didn’t pass out during that one second. The thought of a needle in the balls had kept him awake at night for weeks now. More than once, he’d broken into a cold sweat as he imagined the moment needle met flesh. He wasn’t afraid of any other part of this procedure, but that shot was the thing of nightmares.
As they left, each of his family members hugged him and wished him—and his package—well in the morning. He was glad to entertain them, he thought, as he locked the doors, finished cleaning up, shut off the lights and headed upstairs. Maddie was emerging from the nursery they had made for the twins in the smallest of the bedrooms. She placed a finger over her lips and pointed to their bedroom.
