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“Yes, Johnny?” she said as she turned to him, her expression open, loving and accepting.
“You already know.”
“I always have.”
Incredulous, he said, “How is that possible?”
She shrugged. “I just knew. I’m so sorry for the things he said and what I put you through by not getting you kids away from him.”
“We don’t blame you.”
“I blame myself enough for all of you.”
Her sharp retort stunned him.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t mean to snap at you.”
“You didn’t.”
“For the rest of my life, I’ll regret that I wasn’t strong enough then to do what needed to be done, that you and the others went through what you did at his hands. Every one of you carries scars from how you were raised, but you’re the one I’ve worried about the most.”
That shocked him. “Why me?”
“Because.”
That one word spoke volumes.
“Do you think he knew about me, too?”
“No,” she said. “Not at all. It never occurred to him. I’m sure of that.”
“I guess we ought to be thankful for that, because as bad as it was, that would’ve made it a thousand times worse. I went so far out of my way to hide it from him, dating girls and saying stuff to keep him from suspecting.”
“I know you did, and I’m so sorry, Johnny,” she said tearfully. “I’m so damned sorry for the things he said and did.”
He went to her and hugged her tightly. “You don’t need to apologize for him.”
“Yes, I do, and you have to let me. I should’ve done more.”
“You were terrorized, Mom. Please don’t take the blame. I saw so much of what domestic violence does to people when I was on the job. What matters now is that he can never hurt us again.”
“He continues to hurt us if we don’t live our truth.”
“I hear you, and it means everything to me that you understand.”
“I do, and I love you. No matter what.”
He hugged her again, fully aware of how lucky her support made him.
“Now, talk to me about Niall.”
John laughed. “What about him?”
“Do we like him as more than a friend?”
“Maybe.” It was still strange to admit such a thing to his mother when he’d spent his entire life hiding the truth from everyone around him—and apparently failing if his mother had known all along.
“What’re you going to do about it?”
