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We ended up bingeing two episodes before the pizza turned up. And then my brother, my uptight, stick-in-the mud, pain-in-the-ass brother, was screaming at the screen about how one of the douche bro idiots was playing two girls. "Oi mate, that's out of order. He just told her that…" When he caught me looking at him, he shrugged. "What?"
“You're really into this."
“I don't exactly have a love life."
I laughed. “You could easily have one. You know that."
He shook his head. "Have you seen my schedule?"
“I have. But I know you. If you actually want to do something, you'll find a way of making it happen."
He shrugged. “I don't know. The last two years it's just been full push, you know? Settle everyone at Rogues, secure a legacy for you."
That made my heart squeeze. “I never asked you to do that."
He folded a large slice of pizza and shoved the end into his mouth, wiping the oil off his chin with a napkin. He chewed fully before saying, ”I don't just do it because of you. It feels good to do it. Mum and Dad, they saved my life, you know? It's an honor to their legacy. No way could I have ditched this or let someone from Oversight run Rogues Division. So I do it until you're ready to. And then you can make your choices about what you want from there, and I’ll know that I did right by them and by you."
I rapidly blinked the tears away. “I love you. You know that, right?"
He blinked at me rapidly, then with a gruff clearing of his throat, he turned his attention to the television. “Yeah, I know. And despite what you think, I love you too."
We ate in silence for a minute, watching the couples on TV. Then he broached a subject which made me go stock-still. "What about you? Do you date?"
I stared at him. "What?"
“Do you date? I don't know. Men? Women? Are you pan? I have no idea."
I stared at my brother, wondering how in the world he had missed so much of my life. “You realize that you don't let me out of this house very often, yeah?"
His brow furrowed. “You get out. You go out with Tabs all the time."
The way he said her name was through his teeth.
“Yeah, I do."
"And I know she has a place in London, so you stay there sometimes. I just… I guess I figured you were attempting to date."
“If I was attempting to date, wouldn't you have already run background checks on everyone?"
He chuckled. “Do you really think Tabatha wouldn't have beaten me to it?"
"That's a solid point. I'm surprised you haven't dug. It just seems like something you would do."
He pursed his lips. “You're not one of the regular agents. You can be afforded some privacy. I just need you to be safe."
“You recognize that your version of safe is not conducive to me dating, right?"
His brow furrowed. "So, you've never dated?”
How the hell did I answer that question? “Yeah, I dated in college. Far away from here. I haven't gone out with anyone in a couple of years."
That's a lie.
Not really a lie. We hadn't gone out; we had gone in.
He sat back. "Let me guess, you blame me for that too?"
I blinked in surprise at how quickly he’d reverted back to his usual form. “You know, contrary to popular belief, I don't factor you into everything that I do. I'm not blaming you, Gabe, though I know that you probably see it that way. I’m just saying, with this life, I can't date anyone."
