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LACHLAN
Three days.It had been three days since I had seen Saff. She hadn't been on the Rogues campus. At least not as far as I had seen, and she hadn't answered any of my phone calls either. Not that I expected her to. But still.
After the third day of getting nothing, I went by Tabatha’s place, and I was surprised when she opened the door even after checking the security panel. “I know what you want," she said by way of a greeting.
I tried to glance past her. “I just want to talk to her."
"She doesn't want to talk to you, Lachlan. I don't blame her."
“I fucked up, okay? I just.. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I need to see her."
"No, you don't. She's trying to get her head on straight. Between you and Gabe, she really hasn't had a chance to do that. Just leave her be if you love her."
“What the fuck kind of answer is that?"
“It's an answer. You said you care about her. If you love her, leave her be. You and Gabe both think you did the right thing. Trying to save her and rescue her, but you're forgetting she's a total badass who doesn't need saving. She doesn't need you to ride in. She needs you to see her. And I thought you were that guy, but you're just an imposter like the rest. And Gabe, I know what his problem is. A little boy who was desperate for love and finally found someone to love him, and then they died, so he paid them back by loving his sister too much. It's fucked up. But I understand why he did it. You… All you had to do was tell her, believe in her."
“You think I don't know that?I never meant to hurt her."
"Wanting to do something and actually doing it are completely different things."
“I just want to explain."
“You've explained enough. Go home. Move on."
I frowned down at her. "Are you kidding me? I just told you I’m in love with your best friend."
“Yes, you used your words. You have told me you're in love with my best friend. You haven't shown me, and until you can do that, or even better, show her, I don't have anything for you. Besides, you think you're the first fit guy to be sniffing around Saff? You're not. She's fucking gorgeous. Basically model good looks and a sweetheart and a killer right hook. That's not something you find just anywhere, and you fucked it up."
She started to close the door, and I stopped her with my hand. "Can you just tell her I love her?"
She laughed. In my face. Actually fucking laughed."Lachlan, I am not your errand girl. I will not be passing messages back and forth between you and Saff, hoping that you two get back together. I thought you were fun. Someone to tease her into smiling and enjoying herself more. But you're a fuckboi. I know the type. The only way a fuckboi graduates is to actually do something worthwhile. You had that chance at Rogues. I can't respect you now."
“I was terrified for her, Tabatha."
“I know, but you still hurt my best friend. So yeah, congratulations, you're a man. Do the right thing by her, and you and I can talk again. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll take off the voodoo curse I put on your dick. But until then, you better get moving fast. You can expect it to fall off in about three days."
“If it means I can talk to her and explain, it's fine. I don't need it any way."
My dick practically whimpered at the thought.
"Honestly, Tabs, I don't know what to do. I can't get her to talk to me."
“If you want her back, Lachlan, you’ll think of something. Why the fuck you're here on my doorstep begging for my help is beyond me. Do you love her or don't you? If you love her, figure it out. If you don't, continue moping and whining and being a ballsack. It's up to you."
She slammed the door then, and I leaned my forehead against it.
She was right. What the fuck? I hadn't actually done anything to show Saff that I was sorry. I hadn't proven that I was the kind of man she deserved.
So start proving it.
I stood for a long moment, staring at the door. And then it clicked. Yes, I’d been dreaming of Saff. Yes, I was desperate to get my hands on her. But this wasn't about that. The one thing she'd asked me not to do, I’d done. Two things, actually. She'd begged me not to lie to her, and I had done that. I'd broken her heart. And so I had to mend that. And the other thing Tabs said about my fuckboi image… She was right. My whole life, I’d gotten by because Charlie had been there to do all the right things. I had very little practice at being a good guy. Very little practice at being the kind of man she deserved, so I just assumed I was bad at it.
But what if I wasn't? What if I could be someone different? What if I had the chance to be?
As I turned to walk away, I knew what I had to do. And the outcome didn't matter. All I needed was for her to smile again. To pull that off, I was going to need some help, and I was going to need to grow the fuck up.
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