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I gave Tabs an apologetic wince.
She shook her head. “Don't worry. If you’re living a little, I'm happy to take credit for that, even though it's all you. Busting out? I'm impressed. Please tell me it was to go somewhere fun."
I winced. “I was going for ice cream at the corner shoppe."
She laughed. "Well, I hope it was worth it."
“I didn't make it far. Stupid idiot bloke caught me."
She laughed. "Someone caught you? Are you slipping?"
"He surprised me. I didn't expect anyone to come out of the residences."
Gabe tsked. “You know you're supposed to always be ready."
“Yes, I know. Can we get this lecture over with?"
Gabe scowled at me. “You're being cavalier? There are rules in place for a reason. They're to keep you safe. You think you can just go off gallivanting and nobody is going to notice? No one is going to miss you? You know better."
“For fuck's sake, Gabe."
Tabs clapped. “Yeah, for fuck's sake, Gabe."
He scowled and pointed at her. “You. You are the reason she's doing this. My sister was never like this. Never rebellious."
“Don't you think it's about fucking time she was?" Tabs stood just as I sat, and she started to pace. "You want to blame everyone else for Saff attempting to have a life when you’re the one to blame. You keep her in a chokehold, Gabe."
"Oh, we're on a first name basis now?"
Tabs just laughed. She was the only one I knew who could actually give Gabe a run for his money. I wondered how long it was going to take before the two of them realized that they belonged together. Or that they at least needed to shag it out. I didn't care which. Tabs was the kind of beautiful you read about in books. A face to launch a thousand ships. Due to her South African mum, her Italian and Ethiopian dad, and a British grandparent or two, she was ‘ethnically ambiguous.’ It made it easy to be a spy.
She could be white. Or she could be Spanish. She could be biracial. She could be anything. And then there was her body. As an agent, it served her well because men were so focused on what she looked like that they couldn’t focus on what she was doing. I lacked finesse and guile when it came to men, but I made up for it in cunningness, hand-to-hand, and general caution. I'd been so shy as a kid, so when I started training, I made it a habit to just try everything. The more terrified I was of it, the more I volunteered to do it first.
I cleared my throat as Tabs and Gabe went after each other. Pointing fingers, pushing off the blame. “I love that you two think you have anything to do with my decisions, but honestly, I just wanted ice cream. And I didn't want to go out the front door because I didn't want to go with an armed escort, Gabe."
My brother glowered at me. "The escorts are there for your safety."
“Yes, I know. You remind me all the time. You remind me that Mum and Dad are dead. You remind me that I was right there, powerless to do anything but watch that plane go up in flames. You remind me I couldn't do anything about it. It's been two years since we lost them, and I don't want a guard everywhere I go because I feel like I'm dying. Jesus Christ, Gabe, I understand why you are doing it, because you love me or something, but you're choking me out. I need to figure out my own grief and how to heal. Keeping me prisoner here is not going to do it."
“I'm not keeping you prisoner."
“It feels that way. Do you understand that? It just feels like you are. And I know you don't mean for it to, but it does. I just want a little freedom. I mean, I could have taken out your agent tonight. You were nearly down one Rogue."
“I don't know if he's staying."
“I don't care. He's not bad. He's brash though. He thinks he knows everything."
My brother chuckled. "Sounds like someone else I know."
“I don't think I know everything."
"No, but you think you know what is best when it comes to safety. And I don't know how to hammer home the danger to you more than I already have. Drake Webster, right hand man to arms dealer Antonio Igno, bombed our parents’ plane and killed them. And his son, Massimo Igno, is still out there, too. So until we have them, we have to follow security protocols."
“Fucking hell, Gabe. What if I just left?"
He pulled back as if I'd slapped him. "That's enough, Saff. I'm done. I'm glad you thought so highly of our trainee, because you'll be training him moving forward."
My stomach dropped. No. There was no fucking way I was going to train the guy I'd shagged who didn't even remember me. The world could not be that cruel. "No, I'm not."
