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No wonder he got mad at me at the Brazos.
I was in over my head for sure. An hour of internet research was not going to equal enough expertise to cure this.
But I’d gotten this started. I’d told him to tell the story. No quitting now.
So I asked the first question that came to my mind. “Why do you think it’s the exact same dream every time?”
A long pause. Then Jack said, very slowly, “Because—except for the part where it’s me drowning—that’s pretty much the way it happened.”
I pulled back a little to check Jack’s expression. “That’s what happened? In real life?”
Jack nodded.
“You went off a bridge into a river?”
Jack nodded again.
“I’d heard it was a car accident.”
“Technically, it was.”
Jack pulled his arms away from me and rolled onto his back, crooking one arm over his eyes, covering half his face. “He died in the river. The police think he got turned around in the darkness and swam down instead of up.”
So this was the version of the story that got buried.
Was it Jack’s fault? Was there alcohol involved, like the rumor said? Had Jack killed his little brother?
I couldn’t bring myself to ask.
“I’m so sorry,” I said at last, hoping my voice could make up for the inadequacy of those words. “I didn’t know.”
Jack nodded. “The PR folks covered it up. Nobody knows. Except me. And my family. And a few local officials in North Dakota. And, of course, Drew.”
I thought for a second. “Is this why the studio insisted on you hiring protection?”
Jack nodded. “I’ve caused them enough trouble.”
Next, I said, “And this is the war between you and Hank?”
Jack nodded. “The troublemaker is my mom. She keeps wanting to see me. She keeps asking me to come visit. She just keeps on loving me and forgiving me.”
“And when she got sick, Hank didn’t want you to come here?”
“That’s right.”
“But you came, anyway.”
“I couldn’t exactly tell her no.”
“And now you’re just waiting until you can disappear again?”
“That’s basically it.”
“I think it sounds like you’re being awfully hard on yourself.”
“Next time you let someone drown in a river, call me and we’ll compare notes.”
“So you can’t forgive yourself?”
