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FIVE
Noelle
Earth to Noelle,” Gabrielle called out, waving her hand in front of my face as we gathered around the table at our favorite coffee shop off-campus. The four of us – Angelina, Gabrielle, Charlotte, and I had been coming here for years, even during undergrad and when I’d come home to visit while I lived in New York. I was lucky, in that regard, that all of them had decided to stay in Portland after graduating. It meant I didn’t have to say goodbye or worry about when the next time I’d see them would be. There were enough people in my life that I’d had to say goodbye to—I didn’t think I could stomach losing these three.
We had simply moved our on-campus hangs to a minimum once weekly date at the little coffee shop, or sometimes a café for breakfast. And then we would catch each other up on our lives: just the little things, but it beat texting. Sometimes we would talk about who we were dating (a conversation I had not participated in for a while), and the annoying things happening at our jobs—Gabbi and Ang had it the best because they worked for the biggest tech company in the city and could talk at work—and whatever book we were currently reading.
Our Best Friends Book Club, asI had lovingly dubbed us the first chance I got. They all hated it—of course—but it stuck. I wanted to get matching t-shirts, but Angelina had just rolled her eyes and gave me a firm no. I was still thinking maybe I could get away with matching tote bags, however. Maybe bookmarks.
“Sorry,” I finally said, coming back from my space-out moment and back into the conversation. “I’m just a little distracted.”
“Why?” Charlotte asked, stirring her hot chocolate with a spoon, “Did you finally end up meeting a hot teacher on campus?” she wiggled her eyebrows at me.
“Char!” My face turned bright red. Failed, once again, by my ginger genes. Any time I was even the slightest bit embarrassed, my whole face flushed. And of course, none of them would miss this detail – they all knew me way too well for that after almost eight years of friendship.
“Oh my god, she totally did,” Angelina laughed. “Come on, girl, you gotta give us more details than that. Who’s your eye candy for the semester? Does he have a name? It’s been so long since you broke up with Jake—”
“No, no, no.” I threw my hands up. “We’re not going to do this. I am not hot for a teacher.” Technically, that was true—he was a professor, after all. “And absolutely nothing is going to happen. With anyone.” I narrowed my eyes at them.
Charlotte grinned. “Please, there totally is someone! You’re never this vocal about denying things unless they’re true.” She licked a dollop of whipped cream off the top of her cup in total Char fashion, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Geez, did I have to be such an easy book to read to all of my friends?
“We never said anything was going to happen, Elle, but come on, let us have a little bit of fun,” Gabbi pleaded with me. “We’re all single right now anyway, so give us something exciting to talk about. There’s gotta be something better than vicariously living through romance novels, I swear.” She held up the book we had been reading this past week as if to further emphasize her point. If only it was so easy.
“Guys…” I sighed. “There’s nothing really to say, I swear. He’s…” the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, an absolutely fine male specimen, a gift from God, all came to mind. But I knew I’d never hear the end of it, so instead, I lamely went with, “Well—he’s just a professor. And before you get any other ideas, I’ve barely even talked to him, he’s not my professor. I’m really not interested, and I doubt I’ll see much of him, regardless.” I shrugged at them and gulped my drink.
“Ugh, fine,” Gabbi admitted in defeat. “Don’t tell us the specifics. But I think there’s something there.” She gave me a sly smile.
Yeah, I wanted to say, just the most handsome man on campus coming over to talk to me at the staff/faculty mixer. No biggie. But I didn’t say it, and she continued. “Don’t forget, we know you, Noelle. I know what that little blush on your cheeks means.” She took a sip of her coffee as she stared at me, and I just shook my head.
Yep, there were some negatives of your best friends knowing you almost better than you know yourself. Just a few. “Like I said, just forget about it, because nothing’s going to happen. I’m not dating anyone.”
The rest of the girls rolled their eyes at me, and then we were back on a different topic, and Charlotte had pulled a new book out of her bag, babbling on about how much she loved it. That girl burned through books, I swear—even with her part-time job at the dance studio and her side business making dresses, she still always seemed to have her nose in a book. We were all talking about book recommendations for next week and discussing our favorite moments from the one we just read, the earlier conversation finally long forgotten. At least I hoped it was because I had no desire to spend any more time talking about something that was not anything.
“Oh!” Charlotte exclaimed after the conversation had settled again and we were all just sipping on our drinks. “I gotta tell you about this thing that happened last week to Daniel and me—”
Angelina rolled her eyes like she hadn’t heard the same sentence numerous times over the last almost decade. “You know I’ve never understood how you are best friends with my older brother.” I wanted to laugh. I had witnessed their friendship begin in college just as ours had. It seemed like wherever Charlotte was, Daniel wasn’t far behind her. I really didn’t mind, because he was always nice to me—and had always helped me with my math homework when I needed it. It was one perk of him always hanging around our dorm room in college.
Charlotte stuck her tongue out at her. “Look, he just gets me. Besides, you’re all my best friends too.”
As much as she protested, I knew Angelina and her older brother were super close—she had followed him to the same college, after all, and they had spent a lot more time together over the years than most siblings I knew.
“You know,” Gabbi elbowed her, “You haven’t dated anyone in a while, and you and Daniel are both still single. Why don’t you give that a shot? He’s got to be better than all the other losers you’ve dated.”
Charlotte made a face. “We don’t like each other like that, Gabs. You know this. Sure, I love him, but like, as a brother, not someone I’m going to marry and have babies with—”
“Okay, okay!” Angelina exclaimed. “Enough talk about my brother and anyone having babies. That’s a concept I have no desire to think about right now.”
She was right. It hadn’t even been four years yet since we graduated college—it was crazy to think that just a few short years ago we had all walked across that stage together. Marriage and kids still felt like the last thing on each of our minds. It felt like we were all too busy trying to make something of our lives first to worry about who we were going to spend them with. I certainly didn’t have time for any sort of relationship right now. Going to school and working full time as a Hall Director, leading my RAs plus being there for my students was enough. Not to mention the untouched word document that had been sitting on my computer for ages. One day I would have time to work on it again.
Not anytime soon, though, because let’s face it—I was swamped. I definitely didn’t have time to fall in love with someone. I made a face as I took another drink of my coffee. Yeah, there was no chance in hell of that happening. Not again.
I laughed. “I can’t even imagine dating anyone right now. Like, my life is a mess enough without trying to add another person into it.” I had already tried to live my life with another person, and see how well that ended up? Honestly, I was better off alone.
“Well,” Charlotte just smiled, “I think it sounds nice. Meeting the one, being swept off your feet, falling madly in love, and living happily ever after. Where do I sign up?”
“That’s a fairytale, Char,” Angelina said. “Not real life. Like, do you really think someone’s going to swoop you up and ask you to get married to them tomorrow?”
Charlotte just frowned and mumbled under her breath, “Well, it could happen.”
