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TEN
Matthew
Bryan?” I asked, picking up my phone as it rang. My scantrons were done, I had taught my class for the day, and I was finally settling back down at my desk to answer some emails before I went home for the day.
“Hey, Matt.” As soon as I heard his voice, I realized I had forgotten to call him after everything that happened.
“Sorry for leaving without telling you the other night, I just—”
“Don’t worry about it, man. We all saw what happened at the bar. She got home safe?”
I closed my eyes. “Yeah. She had a little too much to drink, and I don’t think her friends realized how much until it was too late.”
“Good thing you were there to swoop in like her knight in shining armor.”
I scoffed. “She’s not some princess from a book, Bryan.” And I’m wasn’t her knight. Or her prince. Just her friend.
“Sure. Anyway, drinks got cut off early, but Cole and Tanner got us all tickets to one of the home games next month if you can come. They got you an extra ticket, too, so you can bring a date if you want and not be the third wheel, like always. If you want to bring that girl—”
“We’ll see,” I interrupted with a grunt. When was the last time I had taken someone out on a real date? I had been so busy the last few years. And had there been anyone I even wanted to take on a date, anyway? Not in a long time. But now… “And I’m not your third wheel. Geez. Way to rub it in that all my best friends are in serious relationships but me.”
“Hey man,” he laughed, “I’m just saying. If you had a girlfriend, it would make all of our hangouts a hell of a lot more fun for everyone. Elizabeth keeps wanting to do couples shit, but I hate planning stuff without my best friend. So…” I didn’t mention the fact that she was seven months pregnant, which had severely limited our group activities these days. It’s not like we did much besides hang out and watch sports games or go get meals, anyway.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don’t hold your breath. Anyway, life’s been so crazy these last few years, and I haven’t had time to date.”
“It’s always something with you,” Bryan wheezed into the phone like he couldn’t believe my excuse. Maybe he was right. It was a rather lousy one. “Next, you’re going to tell me you’re going to wait until you have tenure before you try to find someone. You’re gonna be like thirty-five before you get married at this rate.”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “I can’t help it if I haven’t found the right person yet. And… I can’t help it if I want what my parents had.”
They had been so in love with each other, and my sister and I had always known it. I had always felt their love for each other and us, every day. And then… they were ripped from us way too soon, and Tessa had to grow up without them. It still hurt to think of all the milestones of ours they missed, but at least now it was a dull ache instead of a constant sharp pain. And I didn’t want to love someone, to get so attached to them, just to have my entire life ripped away in one moment. It was a risk I wasn’t sure I wanted to take.
Except maybe, with Noelle… my brain seemed to whisper to me. What if? Was she worth the risk? No one had ever been before.
“I know, man,” Bryan’s voice lowered. “And I know how much you miss them, too. Listen, you never talk about it…”
“It’s okay.” I tried to brush it off. Even after all this time, it still hurt to talk about. Even with Tessa, we hardly mentioned our parents. And after our grandparents died, we were all we had left. And it was just another reminder of the hole in our hearts that would never be repaired every time someone brought it up.
“We’re always here if you want to. All of us,” he offered, and I knew it was true, but I just shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me through the phone. I chose to bottle those emotions up inside. In some ways, I had to—I really didn’t know what would happen when they all spilled out.
“I appreciate it, man. Listen, I gotta get some work done, but I’ll talk to you soon, okay? We can plan dinner soon. You could all come over here, I’ve got almost everything set up at the new house. And I’m sure Snowball would appreciate someone besides me to give her some love too.”
“Sure,” Bryan chuckled. “We’ll figure out a day soon. I’ll text you.”
“Talk to you later,” I said, hanging up the phone and slumping back against my desk chair, thinking about everything Bryan had said.
About the basketball game. And bringing a date. I needed to find a date. But fuck if there wasn’t only one woman who popped up in my mind. Was it crossing the line entirely to ask her to come with me?
It wasn’t weird to ask your friend to go to a game like that with you, was it? Because that’s what we were—friends. Yeah.
I took a deep breath as I refocused my attention on the computer.
Friends. But was that all I wanted us to be?
~ ~ ~
Somehow, over the last three weeks, I’d gotten used to seeing Noelle everywhere. And now, every flash of red hair, every cup of coffee, and pastry reminded me of her.
And it had been days since I saw her in the library. Days since I talked to her, and I thought I might be losing my mind.
