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“Nope.” I shook my head. “It’s my mom. And I just can’t deal with her right now. I have enough going on with everything.” I gestured around us wildly, even though I wasn’t quite sure what all that encompassed anymore. “And that’s without listening to her telling me what to do or what I’m doing wrong. It’s my life, and she just...” Matthew gave me a small frown, and I just bit my lip. “What?”
“I guess it’s just… I can’t talk to my mom. Even if I want to, she’s gone, and I know she hasn’t always treated you with the most respect in the past, but maybe you should give her a chance to change. Tell her what’s bothering you.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“That’s understandable,” Matthew nodded his head. “It’s hard to confront the people you love. But I’m here for you, you know. If you want my help, or just moral support.”
He reached out and squeezed my hand before going back to plating the rest of the food. I didn’t think he realized how much I appreciated that—his willingness to do anything for me, always. I wanted him to feel the same—to know I’d stick by his side, no matter what he needed.
I nodded, and he sat down next to me. “So, you were thinking?” he said, and I just blinked at him.
I remembered the thought I had earlier. “Oh! Right. I was thinking about how you need to meet my friends.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Angelina, Charlotte, and Gabrielle? I already did meet them, sweetheart.”
“Well, yeah,” I frowned. “But like, officially this time. And maybe a little more… sober, on all of our parts.”
He chuckled. “Whatever you want, Noelle. I’d like that.”
“Good.” I nodded, going back to my waffle, happily, alternating
between that and munching on the perfect, crispy bacon Matthew had put on my plate. “You’re making me never want to leave here,” I said, and I immediately realized what those words could mean. I looked up at Matthew, who was staring at me with a serious expression, and my mind thought the worst. “Oh. I didn’t mean—”
Matthew shook his head. “No, I like it. You’re always welcome to stay, even after spring break is over.”
“Are you sure?” He put his cup down, coming over to stand by me, his hand squeezing my thigh in a reassuring way.
“I’m sure. Let’s go out tonight. I want to take you on a date. A real date.”
“What do you call that basketball game?” I scrunched up my nose and laughed. “Or Valentine’s Day? I think those were all real dates too.” I brushed a blonde curl off of his forehead.
He stared at me so reverently as I straddled his lap, resting my forehead against his. “I just… God, Noelle, I want to take you out. I want to spoil you how you deserve to be spoiled.”
I touched my forehead to his. “I think I’d like that. But all I need is you, you know that?”
This is all I’ve ever wanted, I thought—to just have you, all of you, with nothing coming in between us.
“Good.” Matthew smiled. “Because I do wanna take you on a proper date, baby.”
“I expect to be wined and dined,” I said, holding out my empty coffee mug, which he took with a laugh before filling up with coffee for me, followed by caramel creamer.
He definitely bought that for me, I thought with a smirk, because this grumpy man never drinks anything in his coffee. I grinned to myself at the thought—grumpy man—because in the last month with me, he had become anything but whenever he was by my side. It was like whenever we were together he was lit up from the inside, and it made my heart warm.
After breakfast was done, and I helped him do the dishes (also known as Matthew washing, and me sitting on the counter and drying the dishes as I watched his arms), Matthew pulled me into the bathroom.
“Time to shower,” he said, tugging his shirt off my body, and even though he had seen me naked—twice at this point, plus we had spent the whole night with our bare skin touching—I still flushed as I stood in front of him completely nude. Matthew didn’t notice at first, shucking his shorts off after turning the shower water on, until he turned around to find me standing there, hugging my stomach. Why did this seem more intimate than having him inside of me?
“Hey, hey,” he said, cupping my face to bring my eyes up to him. “What’s wrong? Why are you embarrassed?”
“I’m not—” I shook my head, clearing my throat. “I’m not embarrassed. I just…” I bit my lip. “I’ve never done this with someone else.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What? Showered?”
I nodded. “My ex… he didn’t…” I shrugged. I hated explaining to him that I hated the stretch marks on my thighs. I knew I wasn’t skinny, and even though I was comfortable with my curves, sometimes I looked in the mirror and I hated what I saw. The cellulite on my thighs, the fact that my stomach wasn’t flat or toned, the love handles on my sides… It made me self-conscious sometimes.
So somehow, this felt like it would mean more to me than just sex. Him taking care of me, loving my whole body, even when I just wanted to wrap my arms around my stomach and hide.
Matthew placed a kiss on my bare shoulder.
