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“You breed with him?” I say when I notice his large testicles.
“My biggest income earner.” Mickey says proudly. “Got the vet coming out today to see how we can keep him from jumping, or…” A deep sigh escapes him. “I’ll have to do what your pappa did.” He shrugs and a single tear travels down his cheek.
I pretend not to notice.
“Well, I hope it doesn’t end that way.” I take a better look at the magnificent bull.
“What does it feel like?” I say after a few moments.
I know Mickey will grasp the context of my question.
“Like the world has shrunk and I’m a giant and sometimes it’s the opposite. Everything shrinks or grows,” he explains and I can hear the fear in his voice. “I’m not crazy, doc…”
“No, Mickey.” I turn to face him. “You’re not. Tell me. Does it come and go?”
He nods.
“Mostly when you’re worried or upset?”
“Yes. How do you know this?”
He looks to me, a flitter of hope swimming in the depths of his tired old eyes.
“It’s simple though not treatable.” I hold up my hand when my words cause him to plead. “But it will go away. It’s a syndrome called Alice in Wonderland.”
“Och, I’m not some idiot.” He waves at me angrily.
His large hands ball into fists and both Simmi and I notice Alisha shrink into her clothes. Her eyes scrunch closed for a second then flash open, their previous silver a bright gray awash with fear.
“Not at all. I know it’s a funny name. But have you ever read the book?”
Mickey’s gaze squints with suspicion. “No.”
“Anyway, there is a part in the tale where she eats the cookie and grows into a giant, then shrinks when she eats another. This is why your syndrome is called Alice in Wonderland. It has nothing to do with the actual story, it’s just a nonsensical way to explain thespatiality disturbance you experience when you’re going through a stressful period.” Though there is something more about this man that’s tugging on my intuition, I just can’t put my finger on it.
“Oh.” Mickey looks at Simmi, who nods. “So, I am crazy.”
“No. But you may feel like you are,” I add, hoping this explanation hasn’t lost me the miniscule sliver of trust I’ve built in the last hour.
“But I want to re-run some tests. Yes, I get it, you’re over being prodded and poked at, but why don’t you and Alisha come into town for an appointment? I want to make sure there’s no underlying nervous system issue. Okay?”
I make a mental note to ask Simmi whether she will check on Alisha when I have him sent to Bundaberg.
Mickey considers my words then turn to me, a half-smile on his face.
“Okay. But what do I do in the meantime?”
“I’m going to leave you with what we call a migraine prophylaxis. Follow the instructions but come and see me early in next week.” I reach into my back pocket and pull out one of my cards. “My private number. If you need anything.”
I gaze past the old man and smile to Alisha as I say this. It’s meant more for her than him.
***
“Mind telling me why you didn’t give me time to go through my patient’s medication and high blood pressure issue with him?” Simmi asks as we return to the car.
I don’t reply until we’re seated, and the engine started. “It would have been too much for him and he’ll chicken out of coming to see me.” I sigh and turn to face her. “I want you to take the time to see Alisha while he’s in Bundaberg for tests. She responds to you.”
“You think he’s abusing her?” Simmi’s voice rises and octave.
