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She does that thing with her eyebrows and Fran and Anna giggle.
I ignore them and focus instead on my reflection. The off gold bordering on deep ivory strapless heart-shaped corset does wonders for my body as it melts into a below-the-knee-length skirt.
“So ya gonna come clean or must we pour the rest of them bubbles down ya gullet to get you talking?”
“Hey, this is Anna’s day.” I try to sway them off topic.
“And I say you spill the beans,” Anna, semi mellow from downing two glasses of champers pipes up, and I know I can’t keep them out the loop any longer.
***
Sitting around the corner table in the busy café next door, the girls all lean forward on their elbows as I tell them about Jay and me. It’s not easy, which is strange. Usually, I have no problem chatting to them about my latest fling.
“Me thinks this one might be a bit more than a one-night backpacking, gone tomorrow encounter.”
Fran grins, and my stomach flips as I realize she’s hit the nail on its head.
Anna lays her soft, fine-boned hand on mine.
“It’s frightening. I know. But it’s worth it,” she whispers.
Her eyes are all fire and shooting stars and I get that she’s speaking from her own experience, except…
“It’s nothing serious, ladies.” I sit back to distance myself from a truth I’m not ready to acknowledge. I can’t be in love. Love is a bit of magic which has never been mine to embrace and enjoy.
“Look, I know ya think ’cause your mom and dad don’t exactly get along the way most couples do that love’s not for you.” Kylie shrugs.
Ain’t that God’s own truth!
“Doesn’t mean you have to choose to be unlucky in love.” Fran finishes Kylie’s sentence.
Her words surprise me and awaken a fear that threatens to devour me from the inside out. I wouldn’t choose to be unlucky. Who in their right minds would? Mom and Dad? Me by proxy? I bite back a sharp retort, reminding myself these girls are my sisters and only mean good.
“Well, enough about me and my so-called love life.” I plaster on a smile and shift the focus of conversation. “Anna, any idea where Rhett’s taking you for your honeymoon?” A major change in topic is needed.
“No idea. And thanks again.” She pats Kylie’s hand. “For taking them. They’re super excited.”
“No worries. Between homework and the work needed doing on the property, they’ll have no time to miss you.”
“Or stir shit,” Anna adds, rolling her eyes.
Soon we’re on our way back. My mind drifts toward Jay and what Anna said about it being worth the risk. I suppose after what she’s been through, she’s the only one who has any idea where I’m coming from. I want to let go and believe, but that forever love, I’m not sure if it’s meant for me. In the background, the girls yabber about their kids and husbands, but I’m too distracted to pay attention.
We finally pull into town after dropping off Kylie and Fran.
“Would you and Jay like to come over for a barbeque sometime?” Anna asks.
I pinch my hands between my knees. “I- Let’s see.”
Her hand touches my shoulder, then returns to the steering wheel of her stunningly refurbished Volkswagen Combi. “It’s okay to love, Simmi.”
Her words hover like fairy feathers around me. Gentle, beautiful, and out of my reach.
“I don’t think love is meant for the Parkers.” My throat aches as I say this.
Anna pulls into the drive of hers and Rhett’s beach house, cuts the engine, and turns to face me.
“It’s easy to run, and it’s easy to believe you aren’t worth it. The hard work is in believing and having a little faith in life and yourself, Simmi. At the end of the day, it’s all in your hands and no one else’s.”
She opens her door to three grinning hooligans dressed in boardies, their hair standing at all ends from a day spent in the sun and surf. I get out the passenger’s side and walk over to where I parked my car.
Anna and her three munchkins wave as I pull out of the driveway. I lift my hand one last time and head back to my humble abode. Jay has people over and has invited me for a barbeque tonight to meet them. It was all very last minute. But I declined. I’m not ready to meet his people yet.
I should hate how much my body misses his wrapped around me. My skin breaks out in goosebumps as I remember the way his tongue worked my clit the night before and his hands…
Fuck!
I swerve back on to the road. Thank goodness the streets are quiet this time of day or the town would be abuzz with news of Simmi driving under the influence.
