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8
LENORE
Iclose the door after Matt leaves and turn on the front porch lights. They cast him in shadow, and I watch him climb into his truck.
I linger near the front door, peeking between the curtains until his taillights disappear. I’d look like a creep if he saw me, but the living room lights aren’t on, so I can be weird without worrying about being discovered.
After he disappears around the final curve, I let the curtain fall and head up to the loft. There’s a bedroom and a spacious bathroom upstairs with twin skylights. Motion-activated lights illuminate the steps as I climb higher.
My pajamas are still where I tossed them this morning, so I snag them and head into the bathroom to take a quick shower. After everything that’s happened today, maybe it will help me relax. Without Matt or Annie or Al here to distract me, my thoughts start to circle in an unnatural, anxious spiral. During the day, I stayed busy with a to-do list, at the top of which had been finding a new job, but I guess I can check that off now. With the job and at least some income, I’m also less worried about how I’ll pay to fix my car. I seriously considered asking my mom for a loan, but I’m glad I resisted the urge.
I moved to Door County to get away from my old life and prove to her that I could be an adult and live independently. Asking her for help felt like a failure. Yes, that meant I left the safety net of her and my handful of friends behind, but I also wanted to go somewhere no one was likely to know who I was.
I still haven’t gotten a reply from the SOS serial-killer-alert messages I sent this morning, and I’m hoping she won't see them so I don’t have to explain what happened. She already thought I wasn’t ready to handle life on my own, and I didn’t want to give her even more ammunition.
I’ve finally reached a point where I feel at least a little ready to prove people’s opinions about me wrong. I want to show them I can be independent, adventurous, and self-reliant.
And I want to prove it to myself too.
