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23
MATT
Part of me knew something had happened. I hated to think about it, but I never imagined anything as serious as this. It doesn’t change my feelings toward her, but it makes me glad that I went with my gut and not pressed too hard too fast for a physical relationship like I normally would have.
Watching her bare herself to me only makes me want to wrap her up and protect her from the world even more. It also makes me realize the importance of being honest with her, telling her how I feel, and reassuring her that what she feels is important and valid.
My gut clenches at the fact that I’m her boss and that she’s made enough progress to think about me in a romantic light. She’s so strong, and I don’t think she realizes that. What she’s done to survive—and heal—after something like that is incredible.
“Have I scared you away?” She’s folded in on herself and acts resigned to me answering yes.
“Absolutely not.” I tentatively draw her to me, not sure how she’ll react after reliving her story. She lays her head against my chest, threading her arms underneath mine and around my back. I sigh in relief when she doesn’t pull away.
“If I act unhinged sometimes, part of it stems from what happened. Since then, I’ve closed myself away from a lot, but it’s been a process of opening up to new and positive experiences over the last few months.”
She mumbles all this into my chest, and I rub my hand up and down her back. Her body grows lax against me, and I know she must be emotionally exhausted. The amount of trust she’s showing fills me with awe. I know I’d do anything for her. There was something there that first day we met that drew me in. It’s only steadily grown since then.
“Do you want to stay here for a while?”
She nods her head against my chest. “I feel like I could nap for hours.”
“Well, we don’t have hours, but we can stay here for a little while before heading back.”
I slide down onto the quilt and pull her close, big spoon to little spoon. She rests her head on my arm, and I wrap my other one around her middle.
“Let me know if you get too chilly.”
I don’t think she hears me because her breathing has already evened into a regular sleep rhythm.
I doze lightly. The sound of the waves on the shore and birds calling to each other are relaxing, and I want to savor the moment, but my brain is too blitzed from what Nore's told me. I hear people walking further up the trail, but they never come down to the beach. Soon after that, a small swarm of kayakers struggles past the mouth of our little bay. My huff of laughter stirs Lenore back to awareness.
She turns in the circle of my arms and slowly opens her eyes. Part of her is guarded, still wondering if I’ll pull away after learning what happened to her. Nothing could be further from the truth.
If I couldn’t admit that I was falling in love with her before, I certainly can now. Her fiery beauty and stubborn independence were what first attracted me, but her indomitable spirit drew me close.
“Don’t they look like a flock of chicks following their mother?” I nod toward the kayakers, and she looks too. Her snort of laughter fills the air around us.
“Yes, they do.” She looks back at me. “Do we have to start heading back?”
I lift the arm that has long since gone numb from underneath her head. I stiffly bend my elbow and see that it is getting late, nearly two-thirty. We’ve been here for almost an hour and a half, and it’ll be at least an hour to walk back to where we parked.
“Unfortunately, yes.” I tuck her stray hair back behind a delicate ear.
She smiles at my word choice before sitting up and raising her arms above her head in a stretch. The base part of me wants to reach out and trace her curves, but after everything she’s told me today, I think it’s probably best for her to make the first move. This has been a huge step forward in building trust, but we need to take things slowly. I need to take things slowly.
We make quick work of folding the quilt and packing it away. The bag is lighter now, with most of the food eaten.
I take her hand in mine, and we walk together. Our hike back is mostly silent, but it’s not awkward. After telling me everything, I feel like she’s just run out of things to say or wants to say, so I give her the time and space she needs to gather her thoughts.
More people are heading south, and when we get to the truck, I see the parking lot is full. It’s become a beautiful day with the sun warming up the water. More people are also braving the cliffs for diving, and families are eating on the benches along the trail. At some point, Lenore unbuttons her long-sleeved shirt, and I have to force myself not to slide a hand across her back and soak in her warmth.
I load everything back up and start the drive to the cabin.
“How many people are supposed to be there tonight?” She doesn’t seem anxious, just curious, which makes me glad.
“I think about fifty? At least for the dinner part. Steve said he was serving it in the restaurant, which only seats fifty or fifty-five. More people might be coming for the party next door.”
“Do you think it’ll mostly be local people?”
