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In the end, there were three boys who hadn’t advanced. One of them was Patrick. As most kids were celebrating their new belt with family, Patrick remained sitting on the floor. The instructor came over to Patrick and told him to work on his vocabulary, kicks, and strikes and he’d retest in three weeks. Patrick nodded and all he said was, “Okay.”
“Patrick.” I called his name when the instructor left, but he wouldn’t acknowledge me. He stood and mumbled about needing to go change and slowly walked to the men’s locker room.
I walked over to my parents and brothers and shrugged.
“Is Patrick okay, sweetie?” Mom asked.
“I think he’s embarrassed and discouraged. Thank you for coming to support him.” I reached out and put my hand behind the pennant Chase made. “Save this for the next time, Chase. He’ll like it.”
“I’ll save it. Three weeks the instructor said. Have your guy ready,” Chase joked.
“We’ll head home so we don’t make Patrick feel worse,” Dad said and began ushering Mom and my brothers toward the door.
“I’m going to hang out and give him a ride.”
“Maybe take him out to lunch,” Dad suggested and handed me some money. I nodded and then sat down on the chair to wait.
Most of the families had left, but a few lingered. I waited and waited for him and then I finally decided to go check on him. I left the studio and walked down the hallway to the locker room. It was a really small room and mainly just used for changing, as there weren’t any showers and there were only a few lockers to store things in.
Patrick sat on a bench with his head down, staring at the floor. He hadn’t even looked up when I walked in and said his name. I sat beside him and remained quiet for a few moments. He sniffled, and I looked over at him. He was congested, and I could see he had been crying. Clearly, he was upset, and I didn’t want to make anything worse, but he knew this stuff.
“Hey, it’ll be okay, Patrick.”
He huffed out a sarcastic laugh but didn’t look up.
“No, it won’t.”
“It will. The instructor will retest in three weeks. You know this stuff. You’re just having an off day. Everyone has off days.”
“Off days?”
“Yeah, where things just don’t go as planned.”
“I’m not like you, Hollis. Your off day is probably nothing like mine.”
“Everyone struggles from time to time.”
Patrick laughed again and stood up. He untied his yellow belt and opened the top of his gi. Stunned, I stared at his torso. Variations of black, blue, purple, and red marks covered nearly every inch below his collarbone. He turned around so I could see his back, which had a lot of the same marks as the front. His back also had red lines that reminded me of when I first saw him. I stood as he turned around.
“Patrick—”
“This is my off day, Hollis.”
“Is this from your stepbrother?”
I was ready to drive over to his house and put my fist through his stepbrother’s face. See how he fucking liked it. Patrick lowered his head, and his shoulders started to shake as he cried. Even though I was afraid to touch him, it was a gut reaction to go to him. Gently, I guided his head to my shoulder. When his forehead rested against the top of my shoulder, he completely lost it and reached out to take hold of my gi at my sides.
“I can’t take it anymore, Hollis. I can’t go home again.” His breathing was very shaky as he gasped on a sob. I was so angry that I could feel myself shaking.
“Was it your stepbrother?” I could feel him nod against my shoulder.
“And my dad. My dad… he… does stuff all the time. Really bad shit, Hollis. I can’t handle it anymore.”
Fucking son of a bitch.
His tears and choked sobs were tearing me apart. Patrick’s strong, tough-guy front was completely broken.
“Okay,” I said as I tried to calm myself and help him. “I’m taking you home with me. We’ll talk to my parents.”
