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We stare at each other for a few moments and finally Rory caves.
“I can’t have kids,” she says with a shaky breath. “I’ve pretty much known that forever. And you know, I’ve never wanted them either. But.” She pauses, closing her eyes as if trying to block out an image. “Seeing you today, holding Carley’s baby, I was heartbroken because you’ll never have that.”
“Oh, baby.” I take two steps and Rory holds her hands out in front of her to stop me.
“People always say never say never because you can always change your mind. I thought it was a load of bullshit until I saw you today.”
“Rory, nothing’s set in stone. We’ve got time if you want to discuss this later on. There’s adoption or foster care.”
But she only shakes her head. “You’re not understanding. Deep down, I know I still don’t want kids. But I know you do, and this is the first time I’ve ever felt like I was denying my partner that joy.” She takes a step closer. “To hear you lie for me, knowing the truth…it broke me. Everything you’ve ever wanted in life has always been this close.” She holds her fingers out until they just barely touch. “I don’t want to be the reason you miss out on anything else.”
“What the hell are you saying?” She shakes her head. The vice in my chest tightens because it feels like she’s about to break up with me. “So you were fine marrying Brad knowing he wanted children. But me?”
“It’s different.”
“It’s not.”
“I didn’t love Brad the way I love you. I couldn’t care less what he wanted or needed out of life to be happy. But you? I’d lay down my life to make you happy.”
“And you don’t think I’d do the same for you?”
“I know you would.” She stares at me, unblinking for a moment, and then sighs. “I think I just need some time.”
“No, screw that. I’m not losing you over this.”
“Jackson–”
“No, Rory. I knew what I was getting into. Hell, I’ve known since we were seventeen and I’m here.”
“I know that. It’s not you—”
“It’s not you, it’s me,” I interrupt. “Seriously?”
“That’s not what I was saying. These feelings came from completely out of nowhere. This is shit I processed and decided on over a decade ago. I just need a few days.”
“Fine. We’ll take a few days and figure this all out. We’ll get through it.”
“Jackson, I need a few days alone.”
“No, you can’t pull this shit. Not with me.”
“I’m not walking away from what we have. Believe me, I’m too selfish to let you go.” A single tear falls down her cheek, which Rory quickly brushes away. “Just give me a couple of days, please. There is so much going on in my head and I need to get it all straightened out.”
“No, I don’t accept your need for space. It’s me, Rory. We get through shit together, not alone.”
Rory walks back into the laundry room, only to exit a minute later with a small plastic bag of clothes.
“One or two days. That’s all I’m asking for. Let me clear my head.” She reaches for her keys on the hook.
“No, I deserve better than this runaway no communication bullshit. If you walk out that door…”
“Don’t say it.”
“Don’t walk out the door, Rory.”
The threat tastes sour as it sits on the tip of my tongue. Yet, I can’t bring myself to say the words out loud. The two of us hold eye contact for what feels like an eternity. There’s a brief moment where I think she’s going to hang up her keys and give in. But she doesn’t.
“I’ll call you in a few days.”
