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This is so confusing. It’s all so confusing and as I think of how I’m supposed to explain myself it confuses me even more. But… I know how I feel.

“Maybe.” I decide to say and he smiles and takes my hand. He takes both my hands into his and dips his head.

“Maybe is a good word. Means there’s something. Something to be happy about, even in the dark.”

That makes me smile. “Thank you.”

“So, since we’re pretending it’s morning should we make pancakes?” he suggests.

I chuckle. “Yes, pancakes would be nice.”

He puts his arm around me and ushers me into the kitchen.

He said ‘we’ but he starts making them just like he used to when I was little and he even does smiley faces with the chocolate syrup and uses blueberries and strawberries to make the face on the pancake come alive.

I smile like the kid I used to be, fascinated with her father’s magic.

“I love it,” I bubble.

“Yeah?”

“I hardly want to mess it up by eating it.”

“Eat it you know you want to.” He grabs the whip cream and covers the top for the hair. It looks a little like an Elvis up do.

I grab the knife and fork and cut in with a smile while he starts to decorate his pancake.

“So, I have some good news…” he begins after a few seconds of us eating.

I straighten up to hear it. “Good news?”

“Yes. I’ve been trying to get more clients and I have, but I was thinking the other week that it would be better to get bigger clients and work on fewer, maybe more intricate projects than getting smaller projects and more people.”

“That sounds better. Especially healthwise Dad.” God I’m always so worried about his health. I think about it all the time. Mostly I wish we could be in the position where he didn’t have to work, or work because he just wants to keep in touch with what he enjoys.

“My thoughts exactly, baby girl. So, I contacted some bigger companies and it turns out Equity Finance are looking for someone with my expertise to redo their mainframe systems to accommodate their increased number of clientele. I got in touch and they said a big fat yes, along with an offer of a six figure salary.”

“Oh my God.” My mouth drops open and I gasp. That is amazing and definitely the sort of thing I want for him.

Equity Finance are an investment company and they are huge so I can just imagine that they would need a massive database for their clients. I feel so proud that my dad will be doing that for them.

I get up and fly over to him to give him a hug. “Oh my God Dad, that’s fantastic. It’s just fantastic.”

His face breaks open into a warm smile.

“It is and I’m happy. They want me to start in January though.”

I rest my hands on his shoulders. “January is fine Dad.”

It’s mid-October now. January is fine. He’s come such a long way and I feel bad that he had to get better fast because of the problems. I guess though that it’s almost good I didn’t have a job before now because I was able to be there for him and Beth.

“So long away when I just want to get started now. They want to create a back system and I’m gonna be going in once a week at first to do that and help their technicians with that then once that’s done and I do my assessment of what they need I’ll be able to create it.” He looks proud of himself as he should.

“That’s perfect Dad and trust me January is fine.” I drop my hands and bring them together. “It gives you time to get stronger and stable.”

He needs that. He’s supposed to stay away from stress and he’s supposed to be on bed rest so his heart can get better and repair itself after the extensive work that’s been done on it. He needs that. No matter what is happening he needs that as a priority.

“I worry about you. You’re job has come at a great time and it’s good not dealing with Hector. What’s not good is that you aren’t doing something legal.”

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