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“The girl? You can’t even say her name. She’s your daughter. Don’t you care at all what happens to her or anything?”
“Oh God, you know what? Fuck this shit. I’m out of here.” He frowns and makes a move for the door but I follow him. I’m not about to let him just waltz out when he’s done so much wrong and doesn’t care.
“You should be ashamed of yourself,” I wail. It comes out like an anguished cry.
He whirls around and faces me, scowl deepening and face contoured like some feral animal.
“Don’t you fucking talk to me like that. Think you’re hot shit because you’re a lawyer? You’re shit in my eyes, nothing so don’t fucking talk to me.”
“I’m talking to you whether you like it or not.” I counter and it throws him. the past would have seen me backing down. Maybe it’s being with Nick that’s given me an extra pair of balls to deal with my asshole of a brother.
“Not listening. Going now.” He spits.
Dad comes out and carter looks over at him.
“Call you later Dad.” He calls over my shoulder. Dad doesn’t answer, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be taking the call.
Carter storms out and slams the door shut.
I stare at the closed door seething, wanting nothing more than to scream, shout, cry, all of it.
Carter is the source of the shit that’s been happening to us and Dad facilitated his behavior. It’s about to happen again.
I look back to Dad and remember in an instant when I see his face what he said to me at the hospital. He’d said Carter is his son and he can’t turn his back on him.
Even if Carter would sell us to the devil if it meant he gets what he wants, no matter how small. Could be a cheeseburger or as big as a house. He’d do it.
“Dad… when he calls, please don’t give him any money,” I beg. “Remember last time. Remember please. I was so scared. I was so scared Hector was going to kill us.”
His eyes darken. “Mia. I...”
It that look in his eyes that gets me. The look that tells me he’ll help him. He’s going to take the call and help Carter.
Fuck!
I think of Hector and all the horrible things that happened here.
Not even a foot away from where Dad’s standing was where Hector held him and Beth at gun point then beat him.
That man has used every opportunity to touch me in some kind of way I don’t want. And what he said on our first meeting will always burn a hole in my mind.
Hector told us right here in this room that he’ll fuck me in front of Dad and kill me.
No one could know how I felt when he said that. No one could imagine it unless they’d had a similar experience. No one could know how scared I’ve been that that could happen to me.
And here’s Dad… looking at me with his eyes brimming with sadness because he can’t turn his back on his son.
How am I supposed to feel now?
How am I supposed to be okay with this bull shit?
It’s his fault too why our life is shit.
Carter’s right for once. I am nothing. I’m nothing to the people who are supposed to take care of me.
If Nick wasn’t Nick and I had to do the jobs the waitresses do at The Dark Odyssey it would destroy me. I would be nothing because there would be nothing left of me.
The wonderful moment of hope we had in the kitchen with Dad’s good news is gone. It’s been spoilt.
