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He holds my gaze and shakes his head again. “I can’t have it, Angel Doll. You should have that life with someone else. Not me. I can’t have that vision with you… It was just a dream.”
“It doesn’t have to be a dream. If you want it and I want it , why can’t we have it?”
“It’s too dangerous. Everything is too dangerous. I’m too dangerous. Look what almost happened to you.”
“My brother shot me Nick,” I point out.
“Baby, that’s just one thing that happened. One bad element. He was just one person of many that could have gotten to you. It doesn’t matter who he was to you, or the part he played. None of that shit actually matters. What matters is, none of it would have happened if not for me.” Remorse echoes in his tone.
I understand what he’s saying. I do, but I still can’t accept it.
“It’s not your fault. You make it sound like you dragged me into danger.”
“I did…” he places his hand to his heart and gives me a firm nod. “I did, baby, and now I have to put things in perspective. I was always the devil. He’s not meant to have a happy ending. If I truly love you, I have to let you go. That’s the answer.”
I stare at him and again I can’t let go.
“What about me? Don’t I get a say? What about what I want?
“Mia, there are just somethings that are just best left alone. You don’t touch them. They’re too pure and good. That is you.”
“It’s you too,” I cut in. “It’s you too. Please, don’t ask me to give up the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Shock fills his face.
“Mia…”
“No… don’t tell me all the reasons why I shouldn’t be with you when I’ve already chosen you. You asked me if I was yours, you never stopped to notice that you became mine too.” He holds my gaze and more strength comes to me. I touch his face and smile up at him. “You are mine Nickoli Giordano and I love you. I love you enough to let you go too, but only if that is what you truly want. It’s simple, but don’t you dare lie to me. People have screwed with me my whole life. Lies and secrets, all kinds of shit. If you tell me you don’t want to be with me, it needs to be the truth.”
That is my ultimatum.
The thing I thought of to bring the crux of the situation to the forefront.
A tear drifts down his cheek and he continues to stare at me. “Angel Doll, that’s not fair. I’m trying to do what’s right.”
“Me too. I’m trying to do what’s right too, and maybe I’m being selfish because I want you and I don’t want to be with anybody else.” I wave my hand over the grass again and a tear drifts down my cheek. “I want the pond, the fishes, the lilies, the dog, the babies. Mostly I just want you. Words can never express how terrible I feel for what my brother put you through and I pray that maybe we can move forward. Right now all I want is you. So… what’s your answer Nick? Do you want me?”
He nods slowly. “You’re the only thing in this world that I want.”
“Then take me… I’m here.” My voice comes out like a plea.
He reaches out and touches my face, slipping his fingers through my hair as he brings me to him.
“Angel…” he whispers holding me. “I don’t deserve you. I don’t…You deserve so much better than me.”
“I love you.” The words feel like a relief on my soul. “Nick…there’s no better than what your heart wants. My heart wants you.”
He presses his forehead to mine and holds me closer. “My heart wants you too. It wants you too, it wants to love you.”
“Then stop fighting it Nick. Stop fighting.”
He nods and I smile up at him.
When he lowers to kiss me I finally feel like I have everything I ever wanted. The safety of his heart soothes me and allows happiness in.
True happiness I feel in abundance.
And love.
True love.
Love I never thought I would find.
