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I can’t take the time to be disgusted. Dad looks really hurt. Blood runs down the side of his face and trickles from his nose. He’s crying and I know it’s from a different kind of pain.
I don’t waste time talking or asking him why. Hector kicked him so many times and he’s already weak. I need to get him to the hospital.
* * *
I arrangefor Beth to spend the night with our next door neighbors. The Patterson’s have always been nice to us. Their daughter is the same age as Beth and sometimes they have sleepovers. Never at our house though, which is fine.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable. It’s not safe for anybody to come to our place.
It’s not even safe for us to be there.
Dad goes into hospital and the doctors check him over.
He has a broken rib. We lie and tell them he slipped and fell down the stairs.
He has to stay in for a few days which is shit for me because it means I have to get a babysitter for Beth.
Although I’ve been with Dad for the last few hours, we haven’t really spoken about what happened. He gives me looks of embarrassment and guilt here and there, that’s all.
Now we’re alone and he’s looking at me.
“I think you should go home,” he says.
I blow out a breath and shake my head. “Go home Dad? That’s what you have to say to me?”
I’m actually so mad at him I shouldn’t speak. He’s the one in hospital, not me. But, I don’t understand why he’d put us in danger the way he has.
Again, and for Carter.
“Mia, Carter needed the money. He was going to lose his home. That’s what he said. He was behind in rent by a couple of months and I just thought I’d help and hope that Hector would understand.” He stops to draw in a shallow breath. “Carter said he would give it back. He promised.”
I bite back tears. “But you knew he wouldn’t Dad.” I say that far too harshly and the flash of pain in his eyes makes me feel bad. It highlights the nasty bruise that formed on the side of his face.
“I did. I just hoped, Mia. I’m guessing Chloe helped you with the five grand. She’s an angel and she saved us. But I won’t make you find ten grand from wherever it is you plan to find it. This is on me and I must suffer the consequences.”
My heart stills and stops beating in my chest. He’s talking about…
God, the only consequence he means is death. He’s given up. I shake my head and tears spill down my cheeks.
“Dad, are you crazy?”
“Mia, take Beth and leave. Take her and go. There’s no good ending to this madness.” His skin looks paler against his dark blond hair, and his green eyes that are usually brighter in appearance are tired and weary.
“Hector will kill you Dad,” I point it out even though I know that’s his intention. “Hector will kill you.”
“I know…” he reaches for my hand and covers it with his. “Mia, I feel so ashamed for what happened tonight. You won’t understand why I do certain things until you have your own children someday. It’s difficult to just turn your back on your own child. I know Carter is a bad person. I know he’s dangerous and he doesn’t care, I know all those things but I can’t be that father who stops being a father to my son. I promised your mother I would love both of you and take care of you.”
Mom died when I was three. She had leukemia. I don’t remember much about her, but I remember enough. I remember her face and her smiles, and her love. That is what I remember about her and I think it’s what she’d want me to remember. Especially how much she loved us.
I get it. I get what Dad’s saying. It doesn’t help me much though and I can’t just leave. I close my eyes and will the tears away.
I will them away because I can’t break now.
I have to think because I can’t turn my back on him either.
He’s my father and I can’t allow someone to kill him. I know they’ll do it. There is no question about that. I know Hector won’t hesitate to kill Dad. He’ll do it in a heartbeat. Maybe less than that.
I have three days to get the money. I have three days and I can’t fuck this up.
