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“None of this is your fault. It’s not. It’s not your fault and leaving will only put you in harm’s way.”
“Tobias is pissed that I’m with you, being with you has made the situation worse. It’s not for you to have to deal with this shit Gabe.”
She shakes her head at me and I can’t believe this is the conclusion she’s come to. It’s not even like the first problem, this is something different altogether where she’s taking it on herself to be the problem.
“I love you Charlotte. I love you and I told you, you are mine to protect.”
Again she shakes her head and dabs at her eyes. “No. The thirty days is up and this is my answer.”
I’m such an idiot. I’ve been so consumed with everything that I forgot. I forgot time but clearly she was counting the fucking days.
I’m not sure what enrages me more, being told that or her leaving, and like I always do when it comes to me fearing for her I lose control. I grab her arm and pull her to me.
“You aren’t leaving. I don’t know what the fuck you think leaving will achieve but this is bullshit. It’s fucking bullshit Charlotte. I don’t care about the fucking thirty days, that was bullshit too. You’re staying, with me.”
She cries out and wrenches her arm free from me. “Stop it! Gabriel, stop it. The thirty days is up and I’m leaving. This isn’t fair and I won’t sit back and put you and everyone in danger for me.”
“Charlotte, screw the danger. This is about us. I love you and I can’t let you go.”
“Gabe If you truly love me… let me go.”
“No.”
“Gabe I will never forgive you if you don’t and something bad happens. You know what we’re up against and what that man is like. It won’t stop here and it will be just like before, no one can do anything. Everyone will be useless and no one will be able to save anyone. It’s just a matter of when he will strike, because Tobias will. Please don’t make me hate you. Don’t do that to me.”
I’m a mixture of numb and hollow. Numbness and that hollow feeling are back. They’ve come right back to me.
As she says that it comes right back to me and I think of Mimi. Her words about her mother and the decision I made that night weeks ago to let Charlotte go.
I don’t know if I can bear the thought of her hating me, and I’m not sure what to do.
From the way she’s looking at me there’s only one thing I can do right now and it’s the thing I don’t want to do.
When she reaches for her bag I have a hard time not reaching for her again.
As she walks through the door and I watch her go I have a hard time keeping it together because I’m torn. I’m at that fucking point where I’m torn. What the hell am I supposed to do now?
I’m not sure how much longer I stay in the room, standing there then sitting on the edge of the bed. It feels like days, although it must be hours that pass.
I’m supposed to be at work, but I can’t move. This is the first time in a month where I’m living a day and I don’t know where Charlotte’s gone.
I keep hearing her voice.
Don’t make me hate you.
It cuts me deep inside out and I’m trying to come up with a solution.
My phone buzzes in my back pocket snapping me out of my thoughts. I pull it out, see it’s Vincent and I shove the phone back in my pocket because I can’t talk to anyone now. I’m pissed as fuck and because I’m pissed as fuck I think of Tobias. This is him and his fucked-up mind.
Thinking of him breaks the numbness and I cast my mind over the situation as a whole.
He’s obsessed with her. He wants her. But she’s mine.
That snaps me.
She’s mine whether she wants to belong to me or not and she’s in danger. Mine to protect. Mine.
I grab my phone again and call her.
