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That’s the understanding the women I hook up with have. They know to be gone by morning. All it will be between us is fucking and that’s it.
It’sfuckingwhy I feel so shit about Mimi because she didn’t deserve to be with a guy she gave her trust to only for him… aka me... to treat her like that.
Charlotte is the exception and she knows it.
I just… I’m scared of what she might tell me.
But if there’s one thing I hate in the world along with helplessness and weakness, it’s fear.
I stand and get ready, deciding I won’t allow fear to come for me.
Like yesterday, there’s only one way to find out what’s up and that’s to go see her.
I pull up on her drive half an hour later on my motorcycle. I took that today because of the freedom I feel when I’m riding it.
Donny opens the door before I get the chance to ring the bell and while he looks over at my bike with a hint of disapproval, I know this fucker won’t say shit to me. Definitely not when he sees my face and knows not to fuck with me.
Haven’t seen him in ten years and I still want to kill his ass.
When we worked together I was known then because of my family but he felt he had some say in what I did and my involvement with his girl because he was the crime lord’s favorite. Doing his investments and making millions. Then he lost everything.
He’s standing on the porch looking at me as I come up the stairs. He has the same look as Cordelia. Thin and gaunt. It’s the look of a worried sick father who probably has nightmares every night for his worry over his daughter.
“Gabriel.” He greets me with a curt nod and a faint smile.
I can’t believe I’m calm enough to put out my hand and shake his. I can’t believe I’m calm enough not to shove his face in the ground, break his fingers off one by one and knock his teeth down his throat.
“Hello.” I simply return. I think I’ll always feel that angst when it comes to him because no matter which angle anyone looks at the past, the nightmares happened because of him.
I can think of Charlotte and I can recall the screams of my staff at my parents’ home, people who were family to us, murdered by Antonio.
To me it was Donny’s fault. So I’m surprised I can show this calm demeanor.
“Is Charlotte here?” I ask.
“She’s in her room. You can go up and see her. She got back a little while ago and looked …upset.”
This must definitely be the new version of him because he would have never said that many words to me in the past and he would have never said them in relation to Charlotte.
“Thanks, did she say what she was upset about?”
“No, couldn’t have been you though. In the past I knew when she’d seen you. It was … well, her face alone was enough to let me know when she’d been with you. They all thought I was in the dark about it all. I guess I was and had other things to worry about.”
I don’t answer. I don’t want to. He‘s fucking right he had other things to worry about. Things as in people like Antonio he shouldn’t have been messing with.
I make a point of showing him I’m not going to give a reply to that and make my way past him and up the wide staircase.
Out of the corner of my eye I notice Marie come out of the kitchen with Cordelia but I’m not here for some reunion.
I just want to see Charlotte.
I find her in her room just like yesterday, except she’s not standing by the mirror. She’s reading a poetry book. She’s sitting on her bed, knees hugged to her chest as she reads.
She doesn’t look at me straight away.
She would have known it was me here from the roar of the motorcycle engine.
Setting the book down she finally gazes up at me. Her hair is in a high messy bun and her face, free of makeup, gives her a childlike appearance. Especially with the sunlight gracing her dewy skin.
